through for the day. I really donât think this is the time to play shorthanded. Um, no offense, Zak.â
He shrugs.
Mrs. Brinkham, however, pointedly hands me her keys. âWeâre up against a new team, mostly freshmen. Zak will be just fine.â
Iâm beginning to lose my composure. âI donât thinkââ
Zak reaches for the keys. âHey, Iâll go get the papers, I donât mind.â
Mrs. Brinkham holds up a hand. âGet up there, Zak. Itâs almost time.â
Zak stands. But he doesnât leave. He looks at me. Expectantly.
If I tell him to stop, heâll stay here. Lord knows why, but he wonât take my place, not unless I say itâs okay .
They both stare at me. Mrs. Brinkham dangles the keys.
If I insist on participating, Zak wonât argue. If we both stand up to Mrs. Brinkham, then she wonât force the issue .
âZak?â
âYeah?â
âDonât . . . donât buzz in, unless youâre really, really sure.â
I snatch the keys from Mrs. Brinkhamâs outstretched hand and storm out, returning a minute later to trade the house keys she gave me for the van keys. I make it to the lobby before I begin to shake with rage.
Mrs. Brinkham wasnât the one who led us to this tournament. She wasnât the one who convinced my mother to let Clayton try out for the team. She wasnât the one who talked Landon into dropping out of track so he could come to our tournaments. It wasnât her who confirmed our tournament dates and registered our team. She didnât bring us here.
And in the end, I didnât argue with her. I let Duquette take over, rather than fight about it. Iâve captained this team for three years. I ought to march right back up there. I ought to tell her . . .
No, Mrs. Brinkham is probably right. At this point wecould stick a sock monkey in my seat and weâd still win. Iâm no longer needed.
I storm off to the van and locate the folder, not at all where our sponsor said sheâd left it. I notice the clock on the console. If I run, I can make it back with two minutes to spare.
And then get told I had to let Zak have a turn. Because it was only fair.
Except life isnât fair.
I pull out my phone and send a text.
Please call me after three.
I blow my nose, gather the papers, lock the van (which Mrs. Brinkham had forgotten to do), and return to the building.
Though it is frowned upon to enter a room during a session, I silently slink in. I want to watch, to make sure everything is running smoothly.
Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.
Clayton is breathing hard. He does that on the rare occasions when he is confused. Landon and Sonya look sick. In the front row, Mrs. Brinkham crumbles a piece of paper in her fist.
Zak, curse him, sits there with his head on his elbow, hardly awake.
âCarbon fourteen,â says an opposing player.
âCorrect.â
The scoreboard adds another ten points to our opponentsâ score.
Weâre down by thirty. And according to the timer, we have less than two minutes to go.
Sonya catches my eye. Even from this distance, I can see the accusation.
We are losing. Because I left Do-Nothing Duquette in my seat. Because I didnât stand up to my coach. Because I felt a little sorry for our alternate. Iâve let everyone down. We are going to lose. It is all my fault.
I fall into a chair. We will sink into the losersâ bracket because of this loss. That means more rounds. More chances to screw up. Weâre falling down a hole from which we may never emerge.
The moderator relentlessly pounds on. âWhich country was the first to officially use fingerprinting as a crime detection tool?â
A boy at the opposing table hits his buzzer. âThe United Kingdom.â
âIncorrect.â
At my table, Clayton is almost hyperventilating. Sonya and Landon exchanged baffled looks. Landonâs hand hovers