The Illusion of Annabella Read Online Free PDF Page B

who I used to be. I pop the cap off and trace the pencil around my eyes a few more times. Satisfied, I move on to the lipstick—dark purple to match the streaks in my hair. Then I slip on a leather jacket and sit down on the closed toilet seat to lace up my combat boots. The car accident left me with a shitty knee scarred from surgery and a scarred thigh with muscle deterioration thanks to a smashed artery and a blood clot. I don’t dance and can’t walk without a limp, something the doctors and therapist say is probably permanent.
     
    I was lucky, though, or so everyone says. Lucky to walk away from such an accident with only minor injuries. Lucky. Lucky. Lucky. Sometimes it feels like my entire body is a scar that will never heal.
     
    Shifting my weight, I clutch onto the edge of the counter and hoist myself to my feet.
     
    “What the hell is wrong with you?” Nikoli snaps when I open the door and hobble past him.
     
     I trip over a lip in the flooring and brace my hands on the wall to stop myself from falling on my face. I grind my teeth in frustration. God, I hate this.
     
    “I’ve been knocking for, like, ten minutes,” Nikoli whines. “I’m going to be late now.”
     
    “Good for you,” I snap, squeezing my eyes shut.
     
    After a night of partying, I’m too drained to hash anything out with anyone. My head feels like it’s been drilled into, and my stomach is temperamental, every movement making it churn. I’m hungover, worn out, and in so much physical pain that I can barely focus on anything else, including the grief, anger, and sadness inside me, which is exactly how I want to feel.
     
    Pushing away from the wall, I limp down the hall toward the stairway.
     
    Nikoli yells after me. “Nice outfit! Halloween was two months ago!? You’re seriously getting creepier by the day!”
     
    He’s right. In all black clothes, except for a neon pink belt, I stand out like a cloud in a sky covered in rainbows. But that’s okay. Rainbows suck. Lie. Disappear when you really need them.
     
    I flip him the middle finger from over my shoulder then begin the excruciating journey downstairs. By the time I make it to the kitchen, I’m panting, my leg is throbbing, and my brain is pounding from all the memories hiding in every nook and cranny of the house, reminding me of what was and what will never be.
     
    We received enough insurance money from the accident to pay off the house, and Loki decided to keep it because he thought it would help us all cope better. Same house, same lives, right? Despite that the walls, floors, doors, and counters all look the same, everything feels different. Colder. Emptier. Hollow, like an empty grave.
     
    Zhara and Alexis are lounging at the table. Alexis, who used to be as cheery as me, now is the biggest downer I know. She never smiles. Never says anything positive. The girl who loved expressing her emotions through art has died.
     
    Zhara decided to go the opposite route, to the point where you can’t even tell they’re twins anymore. She’s upbeat all the time, like sunshine on crack. She’s always been a little extreme on the positivity, but she’s even more intense now. I think she believes she’s supposed to take on the role of our mother or something. She looks a lot like my mom, too, with brown curls and cat-shaped eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to look at her.
     
    “You look like shit,” Alexis says to me. “No. I take that back. You look like someone who had way too much fun last night.”
     
    “I look like I always do.” I get a few painkillers from the cupboard to take for my hangover and leg.
     
    Zhara glances up at me with a cheerful smile plastered across her face. “Are you feeling any better than you did last night?
     
    “I’m fine,” I mumble.
     
    “Anna, you’re not fine. Your screaming woke me up again. I think your nightmares are happening more often . . . Maybe you should tell Loki about them.”
     
    “You need to chill out and