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spending more time with her than I was with Colin, including the time we were asleep, I grew frustrated and lonely. And that’s when it all started to unravel.
     

     
    “Hello?” I shouted into my phone as I weaved my way through the crowded bar, making my way outside, where I could hear over the loud music and noisy chatter.
    “Where. Are. You?” Colin growled, his tone callous, low, and gritty.
    I stepped out the door onto the patio and glanced up at the red oval sign above my head, not really remembering when we’d moved to this pub from the last one. “I’m at the White Horse with some of my coworkers. We came out for a couple of beers after work.”
    “It’s nine-thirty, Seth! You got off work five hours ago!” he roared. “You’re supposed to be here when I get home. I’ve been waiting all day to see you!”
    Anger sparked inside me, and fueled by a few too many Sam Adamses, I popped off without thinking. “Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to be there when you get home? I’m not allowed to have a life of my own? You just want me to sit there, at your house, with your wife, and wait for you? For when it’s convenient for you. For when you can fit me into your I’m-such-a-fucking-important-person schedule. ‘Cause what I want or when I need you doesn’t matter, right? It’s always about you. Always has been.”
    “Seth, stop. You’re drunk and being overdramatic. I’m coming to get you before you make an ass of yourself or do something stupid,” he bossed.
    “Fuck off! You don’t tell me what to do!” I snarled into the receiver, pacing the sidewalk out in front of the bar, ignoring the side-eye glances I was getting from the lingering smokers. “I’m tired of this bullshit. I can’t do it anymore. I’m done.”
    “Can’t do what?” he challenged. “Me? Us? That’s it? After sixteen years of being best friends, five of those as lovers, all of a sudden you just decide you’re done? You’re just walking away without a fight?”
    All the air whooshed out of my lungs in a single breath at the thought of my life without Colin, and I stumbled to the side of the building, my body sagging against the porous brick surface. Running my free hand through my hair, I closed my eyes and swallowed back the bittersweet taste of love. I wanted more — deserved more — than he could ever offer me. But I loved him too much to walk away.
    I sighed, defeated by my own heart. “I just need some time to think about things. We’ll talk in a few days, okay? Give me a chance to sort through my shit.”
    “One night, Seth. I can give you one night — tonight,” he conceded, his voice softer, the anger dissipating. “And know that I won’t be able to sleep a wink without you next to me. But come tomorrow, I want you here when I get home from practice. I won’t stay late so that we’ll have plenty of time to talk about whatever’s bothering you, and after that’s taken care of, I’m gonna let you call the shots for the night. Whatever you want.”
    “Fuck, are you serious?” I hissed in a sharp breath as my dick stirred to life in my jeans.
    The mere thought of Colin allowing me to top him was enough to erase all of the misgivings I had about our relationship instantaneously. There was nothing I wanted more than to make him come while I filled his tight virgin ass with my pulsing cock, and he’d sworn that would never happen.
    “Look, I know my schedule and my life are hard to deal with. I know I’m not around as much as you’d like, or as much as I’d like to be. I know it sucks that we don’t get to do normal things that other couples do. But I also know that I love you. Deeply. For years.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “If my giving you that helps prove how I feel about you, how devoted I am to us, then absolutely. I know you give up a lot to make us work, and I’m willing to do the same.”
    “How about tonight?” I croaked out, adjusting my thickening