The Heartbreakers Read Online Free PDF Page B

glowed and the waving candle flames cast odd shadows around the group as they settled in on the floor.
    â€œSo what, exactly, are we doing?” Raven asked.
    Alexia folded her notebook open and poised her pen over the blank page. “When I was little, my parents had me make a coping list when I lost my cat. I thought it might help you guys cope with your breakups if we made a coping list. Or more like a code to follow.”
    Raven didn’t look so convinced. “I don’t know.”
    â€œI can barely cut three hundred calories a day,” Kelly said. “How am I going to follow a code?”
    Sydney brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “I’m not even sure I know what’s going on with me and Drew.”
    â€œWell, if you guys make up tomorrow,” Alexia said, “then you don’t need to follow the code. But it might help Kelly and Raven.”
    Kelly shrugged. “It’s worth a try. Who better to advise us than the daughter of psychologists?”
    Raven blew a long breath out past her lips. “All right, you got me there. But if this gets hokey, I reserve the right to extricate myself.” She held up her iPod to illustrate her point.
    â€œThat’s fine,” Alexia said. Raven was usually hard to convince. Alexia was just glad she was there at all. She glanced down at her blank notebook. “Rule number one…”
    We hereby instate the following code to ensure that we will never be hurt by a boy again—for today we become Women of The Code.
    The Girls’ Twenty-Five Breakup Rules for Exes:
Rule 1: You must not email or IM The Ex ever again. Take his name off your email list.
    Rule 2: You must not call The Ex’s answering machine or voice mail just to hear his voice .
    Rule 3: You must not write The Ex letters or text messages saying you miss him .
    Rule 4: You must forget The Ex’s birthday. Forget that he was born.
    Rule 5: You must not date anyone until you can go two weeks without thinking about The Ex. (Take this time to find yourself & focus on your emotional stability. Do group activities with friends—both girl and guy friends.)
    Rule 6: You must perform a ritual with the help of your girls to rid yourself of The Ex’s pictures and any gifts that he gave you.
    Following the ritual: Rule 7 should be enforced.
    Rule 7: You are required to stay up late on a Thursday night eating popcorn as you and your girls laugh over a fifty-page list of The Ex’s flaws.
    Rule 8: Take three months and only do the things you like to do. You are not to accommodate any male for any reason.
    Rule 9: Don’t allow The Ex to talk to you for longer than two minutes during the initial three-month cooling-off period. You must not be his friend.
    Rule 10 : Do not think about your past with The Ex. If you feel yourself thinking about it, snap a rubber band against your wrist.
    Rule 11: You must never date your girls’ Exes .
    Rule 12: You must never date a friend of The Ex .
    Rule 13: You must never sleep with The Ex .
    Rule 14: The Ex’s name can’t be mentioned unless the person who broke up with him brings up the name.
    Rule 15 : Find a hobby or something you are passionate about.
    Rule 16 : Do not call The Ex’s parents to tell his mom or dad why you broke up, hoping the mom or dad will help you through the breakup, because they can’t and they won’t.
    Rule 17 : Do not keep in touch with The Ex’s parents, sister, brother, or cousins or anyone related to The Ex’s family.
    Rule 18 : Do not ask anyone what The Ex is up to. Who cares! Your only concern should be what you are up to.
    Rule 19: If you see your girl’s Ex, you must never mention it to her.
    Rule 20: You have twenty-four hours to mourn the loss of The Ex. After the twenty-four hours, no more tears.
(The twenty-four hours can be broken down into chunks—an hour on Monday—then another two hours on Tuesday