The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants Read Online Free PDF Page A

him to stay busy, or he'd drive himself crazy thinking about Star. He grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner from the shelf beneath the cash register and went over to rid the cooler doors of stray fingerprints. As soon he finished cleaning the glass, he stepped out into the cold night to get some fresh air.
    He leaned against the brick building and stared up at the starry sky. The rain had stopped, and the stars twinkled brilliantly. Living away from the city lights made them appear closer somehow. He never grew tired of studying the nighttime sky. The stars and planets with all of their celestial mysteries, had fascinated him since he was a little boy peering wide-eyed through his first telescope.
    Shane's attention was diverted from the starry canvas as headlights veered off the highway and into the parking lot. He groaned inwardly as the bright yellow Ford Mustang sped toward him. It was a dangerous game of chicken she liked to play, how close could she get to her target before he lost his nerve and dove out of the way versus hitting her brakes.
    "So much power! I can be at a dead stop one minute, and with the press of the gas pedal, fly like a bat out of hell the next. All within seconds . The adrenaline rush is a natural high!" she had told him.
    If it were such a natural high, why did she constantly feel the need to seek out all the unnatural highs? As soon as she skidded to a stop in front of him and hopped from the driver's seat, one look into her glassy, pupil prominent eyes, confirmed tonight was no different from the countless other times she'd been stoned -- or whatever -- out of her mind.
    Kelsey squealed and ran toward him. She wrapped her skinny arms around his neck and crashed her mouth against his. He peeled her hands off and gently nudged her away from him. He winced at the smell of whiskey on her breath.
    Her bottom lip jutted out, and she whined, "I've missed you, Shane."
    He wrinkled his nose in distaste. There was a time he would have led her into the back room and fucked her hard up against the wall. His traitorous dick twitched in his pants, making him shift uncomfortably.
    He'd never be able to get back that part of his life, the huge block of time he'd lost. He wasn't sure how he'd gone from a promising young basketball star with his whole life ahead of him to detoxing in rehab a short time later. Those days of drinking, snorting, smoking, and sex for sport, were a part of the past he intended to leave buried where they belonged.
    "Kelsey, you don't miss me , you miss the time we spent together in a drug-induced fog," Shane reminded her.
    "Not true. I still spend my time in that so-called 'drug-induced fog,'" she made air quotes with her fingers and raised her eyebrows suggestively at him. "I miss the other stuff that went with it."
    He shook his head and went inside. After rehab, his sponsor, Tommy, had cautioned him that there would be many temptations along his path to sobriety, and he'd have to face them one by one. Tommy had said, "The hardest thing won't be stopping the drugs or drinking booze, it'll be disassociating yourself from the way they made you feel and the people you hung out with. Those are the addictions that will either break you or make you stronger in the end. Oh and FYI, pussy is the most dangerous drug of them all, Shane. Because let's face it, even the worse piece of ass you ever had was still damn good."
    "Earth to Shane?" Kelsey poked him in the chest with a blood red fingernail before brazenly reaching down to stroke his crotch through his jeans.
    Disgusted, Shane pushed her away from him. "Knock it off, Kelsey, somebody might come in."
    She tipped her head back and laughed. "That never fucking stopped you before." She reached for him again, but his hand darted out and grabbed her wrist, angrily flinging it away. Her eyes narrowed and flashed with rage. "Fine. Be that way. Where do you get off thinking you're too fucking good for me now that you're all clean and sober?" she spat.