The Haunter of the Threshold Read Online Free PDF Page A

Hell, you know they do, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone to those counselors.”
    “That was before you and I were dating, and—shit—I wish I’d never told you about it now. It’s like you’re throwing it in my face.”
    “I’m just confused...”
    “I have sexual desires that are different from most women, Ashton. That’s all. Why can’t you accept that? The only reason I went to counselors in the first place was to find out if I was sick, which I’m not. ”
    “I never said you were—”
    “No, but that’s what you imply.” She leveled her eyes on him. “That’s what you think: I’m sick. I’m fucked up in the head.”
    “I do not.”
    “I’m only twenty-two years old and I’m already working on my doctorate,” she pressed on, maybe to give him a little pay back. “Do sick people do that? How many ‘fucked up in the head’ twenty-two year olds already have their masters? Oh, and by the way, you’re how old? Twenty- six? And still working on yours?”
    Ashton laughed. “I never said I was smarter than you, Hazel. But your idea of fun and games can really get over the top. I don’t know how to–what’s the word? I don’t know how to reckon it. I don’t know how to assess our relationship sometimes.”
    Hazel’s shoulders and pert bare breasts slumped at the same time. “Ashton, you know you’re not supposed to use the R-word. We’ve discussed this over and over. We’re lovers, that’s all. We’re friends, and what’s wrong with that? I’m not looking for a relationship now—not the kind you’re talking about.” She drifted to the window, only half-noticing the Providence’s stately financial district, the School of Design, and the fringes of the college whose lights were just flicking on as dusk arrived. Headlamps beat like glitter down Fulton Street, and the bay looked like something molten as the sun sank. “Things are better when they’re not complicated, right?”
    “But I love you,” he replied.
    This is not going well. Why are men so needy? “You’re kidding me, Ashton. The R-word and the L-word in the same day!”
    He pulled his t-shirt back on, which read HARRY WAS RIGHT. THE CELLAR WAS THE SAFEST PLACE. Hazel had never known what that meant, and had never asked. Because I’m not interested in HIM. I’m only interested in what he does for ME. This she knew too well and usually felt guilty.
    “I can’t help how I feel,” came his next blank remark. He put the pistol back in a box that read REPLICA SIG P-226. When he put the box up on the shelf he noticed Hazel’s answering machine blinking. “You’ve got a message.”
    “I’m sure it’s just my father again.”
    “Aren’t you going to call him back?”
    The question exasperated her. “Yeah, later, Ashton. What’s it to you?” but, again, she knew what he was thinking in his ever-tailspinning paranoia. He thinks it’s some guy who called, some guy I’m fucking behind his back. “Here, listen, since you’re so interested,” she griped and hit the play button:
    “Hazel, honey, it’s me, your father. Please call me, I haven’t talked to you in weeks, and I’m worried.” A pause. “God wants you back, and He always will. So, please. Come back. Come back to church...”
    The message ended.
    “Not a bad idea, huh?” Ashton said.
    “What?”
    “It might do you some good, going back to church, I mean.”
    She couldn’t resist. “You have a big credibility problem. Here’s a guy who just held me at gunpoint and made me eat his cum out of the toilet, telling me I need to go to church.”
    His teeth ground, and he growled, “I only do that nutty sicko stuff because it’s what you want!”
    “Jeez, Ashton, I was only joking. You set yourself up, you know.”
    “You ain’t kidding.” He flung his book bag over his shoulder. “But if you don’t believe in God, why do you wear that cross?”
    Do I believe in God? she asked herself. The question made her feel withered. “Maybe I’m just