The Hand That Holds Mine Read Online Free PDF Page A

fears of what may happen. My stories were always a gleeful break from it all, a glimmer of hope that nothing else could give me. When I finally was able to get one book to sell, the others followed and my life of struggle seemed to be over. Little did I know, my struggles were long from over. Happiness, love, always seemed to be for other people. I could never find it, no matter how hard I tried or maybe I didn’t, maybe I didn’t believe I deserved it - until now.
    Maybe this is all a dream, a picture I created in my own mind, a final good-bye to my imagination. It all seems to be so unbelievable. But if I gave up believing, then I would have stopped writing long ago. I need to find him, I can’t lie here anymore waiting for him to come to me, waiting for him to hold my dying body. I force myself out of bed and to my feet, “Hello? Are you there?” It is the time that he usually comes, he has to be here. I search my whole house, peek out my windows and even check the closets until my body begins to tire and ache. “You can’t let me die here without knowing who you are.” Can he?
    “Why do you always ask that question when you know who I am?” He walks in like a perfect dream, the perfect hero. If I had thought for a million years, I would have never come up with someone so perfect, so unbelievably perfect … for me. Taking my hands I feel his strength run through my hands and into my body like waves of energy that hold me up and give me what I need.
    “I don’t know who you are.” I say gasping through my smiling face.
    “You have been writing about me for days but you don’t know who I am? You don’t know the man you dream about every night? You should, Adeline, we have shared your bed.” He smiles in jest.
    “Joshua?” I whisper and he smiles. “Joshua Riley, the character I have been trying to …”
    “Not trying, doing. You are succeeding.”
    “But I don’t know anything about you or what your story is or … who your heroine is supposed to be.”
    “I as well, have been eagerly waiting to know what you will come up with for me. You are so amazing, I am sure you will decide on the perfect story for me.”
    “I want to but I’m having trouble understanding who you are and, therefore, having trouble deciding on the story.”
    “Well maybe we should spend some time figuring it out together. Where would you like to start?” Taking my hand he helps me to my feet and leads me to another place whispering, “Maybe we should get some Italian food, I heard you like pizza?” I look up and see the Trevi Fountain. Rome ? We’re in Rome ? Even though my eyes see it, I still can’t believe it.“Go ahead, throw a coin, and make a wish. It would be a wonderful way to start our journey.” Joshua says, handing me a coin. Taking the shiny metal in my hand, I squeeze it firmly in my palm, closing my eyes and looking up to the heavens to imagine my perfect dream, my perfect wish … and then I throw. The shimmering coin tumbles high in the air before crashing down into the water with a splash. “You know I think the bigger the splash, the bigger the wish to come true.” Smiling wide I take hold of his hand and follow him.
    We find ourselves eating true Italian pizza, sharing gelato along the ancient streets and talking endlessly about the beauty we encounter, all the while he continues to hold my hand and smile into my eyes. With the moon overhead we look out from a bridge to the sparkling water, it is so beautiful. I look back at him catching his eyes staring right back at me. “Do you like dogs Joshua?”
    “I do, can I have one?” He says nudging my side when I laugh.
    “What about kids?”
    “I would like three, if you are taking orders. What about you?”
    “I would be happy with one.”
    “I’m sure it will happen for you.” He says obviously not understanding my situation. I smile with a weak nod.
    “Why are you so sad?” I shake my head and stare back out over the water. Josh takes my