The H-Bomb and the Jesus Rock Read Online Free PDF Page A

looks like a dog with antlers.
    Lou sat on the edge and asked me how I liked it with the blanket on, all smooth and tucked under, and did I notice the wagon out front, all clean and shiny and ready to go?
    I didn’t say anything.
    She said Garfield Goose was over a long time ago.
    I just kept staring up at the ceiling.
    She asked me what’s the matter.
    I told her I didn’t want to talk about it.
    She asked me again.
    I told her I struck out.
    She said that was all right.
    I told her no it wasn’t.
    She told me about Garfield Goose’s eye coming off and Frazier Thomas looking all embarrassed.
    I told her Frazier Thomas was a big sissy.
    She said at least he didn’t strike out.
    I turned to the wall.
    She apologized.
    I told her to beat it.
    She told me I promised, meaning bottles.
    I told her I didn’t care.
    “Ra-alph.”
    “Go away.”
    “You promised! ”
    “I don’t care!”
    “That’s a sin!”
    “I don’t care!”
    Mom opened the door. “What is going on in here?”
    “He promised! He said we were gonna go look for—”
    “Hey. What’d I tell you about that?”
    “About what?”
    “Whining. What did I say?”
    “Not to. But he promised! ”
    “Come and help me put away groceries,” Mom told her, and went back to the kitchen.
    “You promised,” Lou whispered, and left.
    I kept laying there facing the wall. Meanwhile, probably, back at the park:
    — Do you believe that Cavaletto?
    — Out there smelling his glove?
    — Then striking out?
    — On three pitches!
    — Pathetic.
    — And he wants to be a pro!
    — Are you kidding?
    — I’m not kidding.
    — Ha, ha, ha!
    — Ha, ha, ha!
    After a while Lou came back. I was still facing the wall. She told me to turn over. I told her no.
    “Please, Ralph? Just do it? Will you? Pleeease?”
    “Quit whining.”
    “All right but please?”
    I turned over. She was kneeling on the mattress with her hands behind her back. “Stick your tongue out, my son,” she told me.
    I got up on my elbows. “Vanilla wafer?”
    “Communion.”
    She was trying to make up with me so we’d go for bottles. Well, I did promise. I held out my tongue.
    She mumbled something and set a vanilla wafer there. “Don’t chew. It’s Jesus.”
    I chewed it up.
    “Ra-alph.”
    I swallowed it. “All right, let’s go.”

Toby
    Business was slow and I was thinking about heading down to Morgan’s Drugs for a fresh pack of cards. They’re a nickel and I had fifteen cents from this kid Jim Davenport yesterday. That’s what he paid me for a Jim Davenport card—no relation, just the same name, so he wanted the card.
    People are morons.
    Anyway, I was in the mood for a new pack but it’s two and a half blocks to Morgan’s and, like I said, it was warm out today, so I didn’t think I could make it there and back without breaking into a sweat and I hate sweating. Makes me feel like I’m losing my protective coating.
    In case you’re wondering, yes I have a bike.
    It’s not a Schwinn, I admit, it’s a J.C. Higgins, but you should see it. I’ve got these black streamers coming out of the hand grips, a good loud squeeze horn, mud flaps, a reflector on the back fender and a skull-and-crossbone sticker on the front one. Only trouble is, I don’t know how to ride the stupid thing. Nobody to teach me—no father, and my mother’s useless.
    She bought it for me three birthdays ago and actually thinks I’ve been using it all this time. She’s always complimenting me on how clean I keep it.
    So that’s my little secret, I don’t know how to ride a bike.
    I tried teaching myself one day, out of sight on the patio in the backyard. I won’t try that again.

Lou
    I like it in the wagon.
    I sit against the back with my legs out straight and they just fit. I can feel all the little bumps in the sidewalk. Some of them make my teeth hit together. Only thing, I don’t like it if somebody sees us, because then I feel like a baby, being pulled, and my face gets hot. But there wasn’t