The First Time Read Online Free PDF Page B

words had been at the tip of his tongue; he’d taken a breath, was preparing to release them, when someone had landed a sucker punch to his solar plexus and knocked the wind right out of him.
    What had happened?
    He’d seen something out of the corner of his eye, some vague movement, as if someone were trying to get his attention, and he’d looked over, and there she was, Mattie, his wife, whom he’d specifically asked not to come to court this morning, there she was, and she was laughing, and not just some silly little giggle but this hideous, full-throated guffaw, laughing at something, he didn’t know what, perhaps laughing at what he was saying, at the audacity of his argument, maybe just laughing her contempt, at the proceedings, at the process, at
him
, and then Judge Berg was banging her gavel and calling for order, and Mattie was clumsily tripping over the laps of the people beside her, dragging her coat along the floor after her as she was escorted from the room, all the while surrounded by this hysterical, insane cackle he could still hear popping in his ears, like wires that are short-circuiting.
    Five more minutes. That was all the time he’d needed. Another five minutes and he would have been finished with his closing argument. It would have been time for the prosecution’s rebuttal. Then Mattie could have pulled any stunt her little heart desired. She could have jumped up and down like some deranged jack-in-the-box, taken off all her clothes, if she wanted to, and laughed her fool head off.
    What was the matter with her?
    Maybe she wasn’t feeling well, Jake thought, struggling to be charitable. She’d slept in this morning, which was unusual in itself, and then that strange phone call to his office, that little-girl voice on the telephone, raw with vulnerability, suggesting she might come to court. There was nothing vulnerable about the Mattie Hart Jake knew. She was as strong and as forceful as a gale wind. And as potentially destructive. Had she deliberately set out to sabotage him? Was that her motive for showing up in court this morning after he’d specifically asked her not to?
    “This court will come to order,” Jake heard the judge proclaim loudly, although no order came.
    “What’s happening?” the defendant asked, his eyes those of a trapped and frightened child.
    I know those eyes, Jake thought, his own childhood reflected back at him. I know that fear.
    He pushed the unwanted memory aside, tried to do the same with his wife. But Mattie stood before him like a slender block of stone, delicate to look at but stunningly difficult to dislodge. As she’d always been, from the moment they’d first met.
    God, not that crap again, Jake thought, forcing one foot in front of the other, breaking free of his protective cocoon, now more like a coffin, to take his seat beside his client. He lifted the boy’s ice-cold hands inside his own.
    “Your hands are so cold,” Douglas Bryant said.
    “Sorry.” Jake almost laughed, except that there had been enough laughter in the court for one morning.
    “We’ll take a half-hour recess,” the judge instructed,as all around Jake, the courtroom began emptying out, the people pulled as if by magnets toward the various exits. Jake felt Douglas Bryant’s hands slip through his fingers as he was led away. He watched the jury file out. What can I do to win you back? Jake wondered. What can I say that will obliterate the outrage my wife has perpetrated on this courtroom?
    Did anyone realize she was his wife?
    “Jake—”
    The voice was familiar, soft, achingly feminine. He looked up. Oh God, he thought, feeling suddenly sick to his stomach. Why did she have to be here?
    “Are you all right?”
    He nodded, said nothing.
    Shannon Graham reached out as if to touch him, stopped mere inches from his shoulder, her hand fluttering aimlessly in the air. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked.
    He shook his head. He knew she was really asking what the hell