studies the vomitus more closely. I find this very embarrassing, as though heâs seen me naked.
âWhat do you eat anyway?â he says.
Almost nothing â thatâs part of the problem with the Serax come-downs. My appetite disappears completely, and Iâm constantly weak, with quivering hands.
âWhat everyone else eats,â I say. âCan we go now?â
âYou really should change your eating habits.â
Weâve turned off the wide Sveavagen, and weâre now outside Vanadisvägen 5. Itâs just before two. It is now the thirteenth of December.
âAre you going to St Göranâs now, on Lucia?â he asks.
âNo.â
âBut youâre going at Christmas?â
âJust for a short visit, maybe. Nothing more.â
âHow often do you go? How often do you see him?â
âAs often as I need to.â
âHere.â He holds out a packet of Stimorol. âFor my sake,â he adds.
I take a piece of chewing gum. Birck puts his gloves on, and takes the key from the plastic bag and slides it into the lock of the main entrance. The door is lighter than youâd think, and if it does creak or scrape, the sound is drowned out by the noise of the city.
âFifth floor.â Birck reads the list of residents. âSecond from the top. No, you can keep it,â he says when he spots the chewing-gum packet in my hand. âYou need it more than I do.â
Outside the door â light brown with HEBER above the letterbox â I take my boots off, and Birck steps carefully out of his black shoes. The lock looks untouched; thereâs no sign of anyone having tried to force their way in.
âShall we ring the bell?â I ask.
âWhat for? Heâs dead, you know.â
âThere might be someone else in there. A friend or a girlfriend. Or boyfriend.â
âDidnât you see his shoes? A man who wears shoes like that is definitely not gay.â
âYou know what I mean.â
Birck looks for a doorbell, finds it, and then pushes it. Thereâs no sound from inside. I place my knuckles against the door instead, and knock three times, hard. When nothing happens, Birck puts the key in and opens the door.
The place where Thomas Heber lived the last few years of his life is a little one-bedroom flat with high ceilings. Itâs sparsely furnished, with three fully laden bookshelves along one wall of the first room, next to some kind of reading chair whose only companion in the flat is a floor lamp peering over its shoulder. Otherwise, the room is empty, apart from a pile of packing boxes against the opposite wall, the traces of a man who lived his real life outside his home.
âHow long had he lived here?â Birck asked.
âAccording to Markströmâs background check, two years.â
âLooks more like two weeks. I wouldâve had a nervous breakdown if my home looked like this after two years.â
âWill you do the bedroom?â
Birck walks off without saying anything. I walk over to the bookcase and tilt my head to one side, reading the titles of well-thumbed books about sociology and philosophy. In one corner of the bookcase thereâs a collection of books that really stick out, like The Activists Handbook, Manual for Militant Political Siege , and The Occupy Movement: an instruction for practice. I pull one out. Itâs been read in great detail â the pages are marked and annotated with the illegible handwriting of an academic. In another corner of the bookcase are several copies of the same book, his own PhD thesis in sociology, Studies in the Sociology of Social Movements: stigma, status, and society.
I take a couple of steps back. Nothing grabs my attention. Thatâs annoying. I head for the kitchen instead. Itâs narrow, with units along both sides, and then opens up into a small square space with a smaller but equally square wooden table and four chairs.
John Warren, Libby Warren
F. Paul Wilson, Alan M. Clark