The Fall of the Imam Read Online Free PDF Page A

could hear what we said even before we had time to say it, and he could see what we did even though we did not notice him watching us. He shouted in a loud voice, ‘A father can question his son, but on no account can a son question his father. To obey God is an unbreakable law and without obedience to father and husband there can be no obedience to God.’
    He lifted the stick from where it still lay on Fadl Allah’s neck, and pointed in the direction of the lamb tied to a peg. He said, ‘This lamb will be sacrificed on the occasion of the Big Feast. We will eat its meat. Our Lord Abraham obeyed the will of God; Ishmael obeyed the will of his father. And so now it is the animal which is sacrificed.’ With this sentence the lesson on religious catechism came to an end. A moment later, Baba had disappeared from the courtyard. But Fadl Allah remained seated on the bench, unable to move his legs, his head resting on his knees as though he was plunged in deep thought.
    The bell rang, summoning the children to bed. I got up from the bench, followed by Fadl Allah. His long robe was wet at the back and clung to his body over his legs. Where he had sat there was a small pool of water which I swept away with the palm of my hand before anyone could notice it. There was a strong smell of urine on my hand. I dried it quickly on my clothes and ran off to the latrines. Through the window I could see the punishment cell at some distance in the middle of the courtyard, behind the dome of the church and the minaret of the mosque. It lay hidden under the shade of a huge tree, surrounded by something like a dark haze so that its walls were almost invisible, bathed in an atmosphere of obscure, almost holy, mystery. Its door was made of yellow-painted wood with a metal doorknob, and on the doorknob were old dried stains like blood.
    My eyes were fixed on the doorknob. It did not move, nor did the door open to let Nemat Allah out. I closed my eyes and slept, then woke up after a while. The door was still closed. By my side I found Fadl Allah, and when I looked at him he pulled something out from under his long robe. It was a loaf of bread, and the smell of fresh baking went to my head. I had not eaten since the morning lesson, so we ate, then we lay on a window-sill with our arms around each other. My long robe had a strong smell of urine about it, and Nemat Allah was still locked up in the cell. I said to myself, when I grow up I will kill him.
    It seemed he could hear everything we said, for just at that moment he appeared in front of us as though his big body had broken through the layers of the earth to reach its surface. The muscles of his face were contracted, and the tangled hair protruded through his open shirt. Under it the breast muscles were tense, and the two dark nipples stood out almost erect. He stared at us fixedly as we lay in one another’s arms on the window-sill. I could see his nostrils tremble as though he was following a scent, and their openings grew wider, exposing their dark pits.
    My turn had come to be punished. I had been expecting it every day, like a dark fate that hung over my head. I felt his thick fingers close tightly over my arm. I closed my eyes and abandoned myself. He was God, and he could take me wherever he wished. I woke from my sleep to find myself lying in bed. There was a feeling of wetness under my body, and over my thigh was something warm and sticky, like sweat. I moved my hand towards it, wondering what it could be, touched my thigh and then drew it slowly out from under the covers. I held it up in front of my eyes. My fingertips were covered in blood.

Only Once in History
     
    As I ran with Marzouk following closely in my wake, the bullet hit me in the back. Before I lost all trace of what had happened, before my mind went black, I made an effort to remember, to record the history of events and retain some sequence of the alphabet. I was fully dressed. They were pointing at my face, which they