The Extraordinary Adventures of Alfred Kropp Read Online Free PDF

perfume.
    â€œWhere are you from?” she asked me in that twangy east Tennessee accent. “You talk funny.”
    â€œOhio,” I said.
    â€œAre you a resource student?” Resource students were either mentally challenged or from a really bad background, or both. I guess some people would say I was both.
    â€œNo, I just suck at math.”
    â€œHey,” she said. “Kropp! You’re the guy who had his IQ tested!”
    â€œSomething like that.”
    â€œAnd you broke Barry Lancaster’s wrist.”
    â€œIt isn’t broken and I didn’t actually do it. Somebody else did, but it was my fault, which I guess is practically the same thing.”
    â€œI hate tutoring,” she said.
    â€œThen why do you do it?”
    â€œBecause I get extra credit.”
    â€œWell,” I said, “I really appreciate it. It’s hard for me— math, I mean—and it’s been hard too getting used to a new place, a new school, and things like that.”
    She put a piece of gum in her mouth and the spearmint warred with the musk of her perfume.
    â€œI’m going to a shrink,” I admitted, at the same time not really sure why I was admitting it. “Not that I want to go, but my uncle is making me. She’s about a thousand years old and she wanted to know if I had a girlfriend.”
    She smacked her gum and stared at me. She couldn’t have cared less. She was tapping the end of her pencil on the desktop, and her whole being was in a state of couldn’t-care-less-ness.
    â€œSo I told her I didn’t . . . have a girlfriend. Because a new school is hard, um, in terms of meeting them. Girls. Plus the fact that I’m shy and I’m pretty self-conscious of my size.”
    â€œYou are pretty big,” she said around her wad of gum. “Maybe we better work on some problems.”
    â€œLike, I was wondering,” I said, my mouth now so bonedry, I would have mugged her for a stick of her gum. “About your ideas on dating somebody my size.”
    â€œI have a boyfriend.”
    â€œI was just searching out your ideas, really.”
    â€œBarry Lancaster.”
    â€œBarry Lancaster is your boyfriend?”
    She flipped her hair over her right shoulder and nodded, and the gum went click-click-click in her mouth.
    â€œSome guys have all the luck,” I said, meaning Barry Lancaster and in a funny way, me too.
    Uncle Farrell had to pick me up that afternoon, since I missed the bus. We drove straight to the driver’s license place and I took my test for the third time. This time I passed, missing four questions, one less than the maximum allowable. To celebrate, I drove us to IHOP for dinner. I ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity. Uncle Farrell had the patty melt. He was wearing his black uniform and wetting his lips more than usual.
    â€œSo, what have you decided, Alfred?”
    â€œAbout what?”
    â€œAbout this operation for Mr. Myers.”
    â€œI think it’s incredibly unfair of you to threaten me with a foster home to make me do it.”
    â€œForget unfair. Is it fair that you won’t help your only flesh and blood?”
    â€œYou just told me to forget fair and then you ask me if something’s fair.”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œThat isn’t fair.”
    â€œSometimes I think you’re toying with me, Alfred, which is incredibly cheeky for a kid in your position. Final time, last chance, do-or-die: Are you going to help me tonight?”
    â€œTonight? You’re doing it tonight?”
    He nodded. He was on about his third cup of coffee and his nod was quick and sharp, like a bobble-head’s. “I have to. Samson is out of town and Myers wants his sword back ASAP. It’s now-or-never time. Fourth quarter, ten seconds left.”
    â€œSo you’re going to do it whether I help you or not?”
    â€œI gave my word, Alfred. I made a promise,” he said pointedly, as if