can, they could take advantage of the situation to attack us. Others said that there was no reason not to let them go to the can and that they already had enough problems just for being back people and not being able to be understood. That's what David said, he was the number 10, now they all had a number which was the number of the seat where they were sitting. I say we let them go whenever they want, he said, but they should ask the guard for permission first. I didn't suggest anything.
Yes, I know what you're thinking, that maybe I killed Cash and that I invented all this story about the handgun, and even perhaps another survivor told you that, although I doubt there is another, but well, if I am here, that means that there cannot be another one. And I say no, but I'm not even sure anymore, I was sitting in a place where I could see Cash and shoot him, and maybe I wasn't asleep, or maybe I did it while I was sleeping or dreaming, who knows, but that would have been complicated, because to do so I would have to kneel in my seat to be able to see Cash and shoot him and I don't remember Severio giving me his gun, but maybe I had it in my hands a few seconds and after the shot I gave it to someone, and that someone gave it to someone else, at least that seems to be what the others did, from the one who pulled the trigger to the one who found the gun.
I don't know why he talked about that, I believe it's not very important anymore, what does it matter anymore, not only did he die, they all did, well, not everyone, I am still alive, only if that's not just a dream and I am really alive. Am I or am I not...? Well, thank you for saying yes, it's easy for you to say yes.
We discussed the situation for about thirty minutes and seven front people spoke. By chance or maybe not, the front people all spoke the same language, either their first language or a language they had learned, but the back people, who were less than us, spoke different languages and didn't understand each other, or they didn't understand us. In the end we voted in favor of Oleg's proposal, number 18, and it was decided that the back people could go to the john when the front people were taking a nap, between 3 and 4 p.m. and between 3 and 4 a.m. It seemed like a very humane and democratic solution to me.
Someone (who?) said that Cash was a saint and that he had died for our sins and the arguments that were taking place on the bus, and that we had to think about him and his lesson. And then Severio who was sitting in front of me to my left asked how they could know if he was a saint if nobody knew him. “Death has made him a saint”, said his travel neighbor, Ofelia.
Or maybe that wasn’t her name ... I don't know, the truth is I have a very bad memory for names, but I remember faces or eyes, sometimes phone numbers. And then I may have fallen asleep for a while, I was very tired and I wanted to sleep but it wasn't easy, maybe I just dozed off. I heard someone mention that he was traveling to the other sea, and that he was traveling to look for his father, because after his father died, that's how he told the story, after his father died, his mother told him that this man was not his father. His father was some other man. That never knew about him and that only she knew. That she had been raped by a man in Morocco, just after the independence and that he was a friend of her husband or a business partner, the man came to the house looking for her husband because they had an appointment.
“What kind of appointment?” a woman's voice asked.
“What do I know, a business appointment with my father!”
“But then is he your father or is he not your father?”
“I don't know, he is and he's not, anyway, then she asked him if he wanted to drink something.”
“To whom?”
“My mother to my father.”
“But didn't you say that your father wasn't there?”
“Well, the one they call biological father, and I have no idea what I'm doing here. Anyway,
Michele Boldrin;David K. Levine