The Essence Read Online Free PDF Page A

flutter in my belly whenever the subject of my upcoming visit to the Capitol was broached. “I’m not sure what more I can do to prepare. I don’t think it’s whether I’m ready or not at this point, I think it’s whether the people are ready for me.”
    I didn’t say what was really on my mind. I didn’t remind them of the last time I tried to go out in public.
    I didn’t have to.
    “It’ll be fine. Everything’s been prepared. Word has been spread. No one will be surprised this time,” Xander explained, his mouth curving playfully. “They’re as ready as they can be for a queen whose skin glows.”
    I grimaced at the reminder, my eyes dropping to my hands in my lap. Sometimes I could almost forget what everyone else saw when they looked at me . . . the light dancing just beneath the surface of my skin. “It’s starting to fade,” I answered pathetically. “It’s nearly gone now.”
    At that, all eyes were on me, and I felt my skin burning anew. I knew they could see the lie in my words. . . . every place they looked.
    My lips tightened into a hard line. “It’s faded,” I insisted, this time with more conviction. “And it will be full daylight when I venture out. Surely it will be less . . . less . . .” I struggled for the right word. “Noticeable.”
    Max reached beneath the table and squeezed my hand. “It’ll be fine,” he said in the same reassuring tone Xander had used. And then, because I needed it, he leaned closer, his voice dropping. “They’ll love you. Just like everyone else does. They’ll know that you are the one responsible for making things better, and that you have their best interests in mind. No one’s ever worked so hard to make their lives better.” A slow smile tugged at his lips, and my concentration slipped.
    It was Xander who brought me crashing back to the present. “And yet despite all of your hard work,” he interjected with a laugh, his voice ringing down the length of the table, “I wonder how many other queens are eating dinner with their fingers.” He winked conspiratorially at Eden—standing guard at my sister’s back. Eden, who pretended not to notice his every move. It was almost easy to forget that she and Xander had once worked together so closely, that she had been his right hand as he’d led the revolutionary movement that fought to overthrow his grandmother’s cruel regime. It was almost impossible not to notice how Eden’s moods shifted whenever Xander entered the room, how the very air around her became lighter. More hopeful. Yet her expression remained vigilant, her duty never forgotten.
    My gaze slipped to the slab of buttered bread I held halfway to my mouth. How was I supposed to eat it if not with my hands? I wondered silently, refusing to give them the satisfaction of thinking I cared at all. With a fork and knife? I dropped the half-eaten bread onto my plate.
    “What makes you think it won’t be just as awful this time?” I argued, turning the conversation away from my table manners. I hadn’t forgotten the gasps of surprise during my official coronation, when my cape had been removed and those in attendance had gotten their first real glimpse of my skin.
    “That was then, Charlaina,” my father said, reaching across the table to push more bread my way. Bread, to him, was always the solution. “Surely they can have no qualms now. Not after these past months. Not after all the positive changes you’ve made.”
    I weighed my father’s words, along with the fact that my glow was no longer a secret. I couldn’t stay locked inside my palace forever. I’d been training for this job for months now, learning the proper way to be the queen of Ludania. It was time for me to meet my people.

     
    I stood alone in my bedchamber, wishing I could find peace the way everyone else did. Only when the hour ticked far past midnight did Zafir ever leave me. When there was nothing to do but sleep. The guards posted outside my door