The Dice Man Read Online Free PDF Page B

her left at Jake and to her right at me, and continued: 'Thirty and a third percent believe that masturbation is "punished by God finitely"; forty percent that it is physically unhealthy two and one-half percent believe that there is danger of pregnancy seventy-five per -'
    'Danger of pregnancy?' Jake broke in as he turned from accepting a menu.
    'We use the same multiple choices' she explained smiling, 'for masturbation, kissing, petting, premarital and postmarital heterosexual intercourse, homosexual petting, and homosexual sodomy So far, subjects have indicated that there is danger of pregnancy only with masturbation, petting to orgasm, and heterosexual intercourse.'
    I smiled to Jake, but he was squinting at Dr. Felloni.
    'Well' Jake asked her, `what's the question you're reeling off percentages for?'
    'We ask, "For what reasons, if any, do you believe that sexually exciting yourself through fantasy, reading, looking at pictures or manual excitation is bad?"
    `Do you give them a choice of reasons for why masturbation flood?'
    Dr. Mann asked, wiping his lower lip with a piece of roll.
    'Certainly,' Dr. Felloni replied. `A subject can answer that he approves of masturbation for any of six options: (1) It is enjoyable (2) it releases tension; (3) it is a natural way of expressing love; (4) it is something one should experience to be complete (5) procreates the race; (6) it is the social thing to do.'
    Jake and I now both began laughing. When we quieted she assured Jake that only the first two choices had been chosen for masturbation, except for one person who had indicated that masturbation was valuable as a way of expressing love. She had determined in a recent interview, however, that the eject had checked that item in a cynical frame of mind.
    I don't know why you ever got involved in this thing,' Jake said, turning to me suddenly. `Social psychologists have been turning out studies like yours for decades. You're digging in sterile ground.'
    Dr. Felloni nodded politely at Jake's words as she did whenever someone was uttering anything which might vaguely be construed as criticism of her or her work. The more vigorous and direct the criticism the more vigorously she nodded her head. It was my hypothesis that were a prosecuting attorney ever to attack her for a full hour there would be no need for a guillotine: her neck would have melted away, and her head, still nodding, would be rolling on the floor at the prosecutor's feet. She replied to Jake:
    `Our plan to evaluate the validity of the multiple choice answers by in-depth interviews of every subject is, however, a genuine contribution.'
    `You'll spend - my God - a hundred and twenty hours verifying the obvious: namely, multiple-choice attitude tests are unreliable.'
    `Yes, but remember we got a foundation grant,' I said.
    `So what? Why didn't you request it fob something original, something worthwhile?' `We wanted a foundation grant,' I answered ironically.
    Jake gave me his I-see-into-your-soul squint and then laughed.
    `We couldn't think of anything original or worthwhile,' I added, laughing too, `so we decided to do this: Dr. Felloni managed to nod and frown, both vigorously.
    `You'll discover that sexual intercourse is more frequently approved after marriage than before,' said Jake, `that homosexuals approve of homosexuality, that-'
    `Our results' Dr. Felloni said quietly, `may not fulfil conventional expectation. We may discover from our in-depth interviews that subjects misrepresent their attitudes and experiences in a way that previous experimenters did not guess.'
    'She's right, Jake. I agree the whole thing seems a mammoth bore and may lead to the verification of the obvious, but it might not.'
    `It will,' Dr. Mann said.
    `What?' I said.
    `It will verify the obvious and nothing more.'
    He looked up at me for the first time. His jowls were a Santa Claus pink, either from alcohol or anger. I couldn't tell.
    'So why do you waste your time? Renata could do the whole