The Devil's Dwelling Read Online Free PDF Page A

parked behind me, shifted to drive and cranked the wheel to the left, goosed it and knocked the car in front of me about ten feet forward with the Edsel’s heavy steel bumper.  After making our way from the parking space, we were on our way when smoke started bellowing from the front of the car.
    “Stop the car! It’s on fire! Stop the car!” Mona yelled unbuckling for a quick exit.
    I pulled the wheel hard to the right, bounced across the sidewalk and came to a  screeching halt on the lawn of Thompson Mortuary. The vapor was steaming from a hole in the radiator. The hauling hitch from the car in my way penetrated the Edsel’s radiator.
     
    Mr. Thompson came running from the chapel. 
    “I have a funeral service in session. What are you doing making all this commotion?”
    He took a  second look.
    “Tiffany , is that you in your Dad’s Edsel?  I should have known it was you. It’s time for the funeral procession and you are parked on the walkway. Get this piece of shit out of here.”
    The chapel doors opened and six men dressed in black walked out carrying a big oak casket.  A casket spray of red carnations balanced on top with a ribbon reading ‘Loving Husband‘. They lifted the casket over the Edsel and maneuvered around the lawn aiming for the hearse. One poll bearer stepped in a hole causing the casket to tip. The pallbearer fell on his butt and the casket spray flew across the lawn landing on the Edsel. I had an instant Christmas wreath hanging from my hood ornament. Mr. Thompson grabbed the spray and placed it on the casket.  The men in black again balanced the casket and proceeded to carry it to the hearse. Forgetting he wore a toupee Mr. Thompson pulled at his hair lifting his toupee in the air. He slapped his hairpiece back on his head slightly lopsided and opened the back door to the hearse. But not before you could hear giggles from the crowd that had gathered while the commotion was going on. The pallbearer’s slide the casket into the hearse and the rollers took over. The casket rolled to the front of the hearse and locked in place. Mr. Thompson slammed the hearse door, straightened his toupee and elegantly escorted the family to the family car.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    FOUR
     
    I gave my Dad a call.  The answer machine came on.  “Dad, the Edsel isn’t working out for me.  I’ll drop it off this afternoon. Thanks.” 
    I called Ace Towing to pick up the Edsel from Thompson Mortuary’s front lawn and to drop it off at my folks place.  Ace gave us a ride to the apartment before dropping the Edsel off at the folks place.
     
    A couple hours later my cell phone rang. Thank God for caller ID.  Tiffany, I know you can hear me.  I told you not to bring the Edsel back riddled in bullets. That you did not, but what the hell! Did you go through a war zone?”
    I could hear momma yelling, “Tell her she has to pay for fixing it.”
    “Don’t worry about it, Tiffany, it’ll give me something to do.”
    I’m a daddy’s girl. Now my older sister Kimberly, quite the opposite. She’s momma’s girl. Momma gets her out of bad situations all the time.  Such as the time when she was little she played mailman taking all the mail from the neighbors mailboxes and placing each letter through the grate in the streets water drain. Thank goodness, it hadn’t rained in a few days and Dad was able to fetch the letters from the drain. Momma told him it was an expression of ‘give and take‘.  A funny thing is she grew up to be a postal worker sorting mail.
     
    I made a call to Mooney checking on my Blazer.
    “Mooney, you about got the brakes fixed on my Blazer?”
    “No, I had to order some parts. It’ll be another week or so before you can drive it. You free tonight? Thought I might pick up a pizza and a movie and head over to your place after work.”
    “I have a