The Deep End Read Online Free PDF Page B

the room for answers, his ears catching the laughter of the outside workers around their intended swimming pool. “I’m just not happy,” he says finally. “I realize how trite that sounds …”
    “But do you realize how trite it
is?”
Eve counters quickly. Thrust and parry. “Does this have anything to dowith Barry Kellerman?” (Barry Kellerman is one of Paul’s law partners. About a year ago, he walked out on his wife of eighteen years, leaving her with four small children under the age of ten. After eight months of dating a succession of adorable and adoring young women, he became engaged to a former Miss Erie County, who, at age twenty, is the same age as the first Mrs. Kellerman when he married her.)
    Paul seems genuinely puzzled. “What has Barry Kellerman got to do with anything?”
    “With the fact that maybe you’re jealous?” Eve offers. “With the fact that maybe you feel you’re missing something?”
    “I’m not jealous,” Paul answers too quickly. Eve waits for him to continue. “I
do
feel I’m missing something,” he finally admits. “I’m forty-two years old, Joanne. We got married when I was still in school.”
    “My parents helped to support us,” she reminds him.
    “You were only the third girl I’d ever seriously dated.”
    “You were my first,” she says, knowing it is unnecessary to add “and only.”
    “Haven’t you ever wanted another man?” he demands suddenly, surprising her. “Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like with someone else?”
    “You bet your sweet ass I have,” Eve retorts angrily. “Everyone has thoughts like those from time to time. But you don’t break up a marriage, you don’t walk out on two daughters who need their father, you don’t break up a family just because you’re ‘not happy’! Who promised you that you were always going to be happy?”
    “I want more,” he offers weakly.
    “You want
less!”
she corrects. “One less wife, two less children …”
    “I’m still the girls’ father.”
    “The way Barry Kellerman is still a father? Whenever it’s convenient to be one? Whenever he can sweep in with some expensive presents and a few shallow words of affection, and take his kids out for a couple of fun-filled hours before bringing them back to Mommy when they start getting on his nerves? He’s not the one who has to deal with the chaos he leaves behind after he’s gotten into his new sportscar and driven off to his new life! It’s Mommy who’s left to deal with all the anger and the confusion that his super little fatherly visits have created.”
    “I am not Barry Kellerman!”
    “Sorry,” Eve says quickly. “It’s rather hard at this moment for me to tell the difference.”
    “I have never cheated on you, Joanne. Not in twenty years,” he tells her.
    “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Eve asks. “When they serve me with my divorce papers, am I supposed to shrug and say, ‘well, at least he never cheated on me’?”
    “I never said anything about a divorce.”
    Eve stares at Joanne’s husband. “I must have missed something. What are we talking about?”
    “We’re talking about a separation,” he explains. “Six months, maybe a year. We could still see each other … maybe go to a movie … have dinner …”
    “You want to date?” Eve asks incredulously. “Is that what you’re saying?” He nods, his face reflecting optimism. “You want to go backward? You want me to start dating the man I’ve been married to for half a lifetime?” Eve’s confusion is genuine. For the first time during this confrontation, she is unsure of what to say. “I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know who to be.”
    “Just be yourself.”
    “You don’t want
me!
”
    “Please, Joanne, I’m just asking for a little time to think things through. I don’t want to rush into a divorce. I just need time to decide what it is I
do
want, whether or not I want to stay in law, whether or not I want