The Deep End Read Online Free PDF

to spend the night in a hotel, Joanne ran the scene in her mind as Eve would have played it.
    She pictured her friend in her place, leaning forward on the blue chair, her red hair falling in attractive waves down the sides of her slender face, her narrow chin resting on the palm of her hand. Now standing with his back to the window, Paul, unaware of the substitution, views Eve as if she were his wife, talks to her as if she were Joanne.
    “What is it?” Joanne hears Eve’s image ask. But the tone of Eve’s voice is entirely her own, more casual, less fearful. Curious, almost challenging. “Something happen at work?”
    Joanne laid her head back against her pillow and closed her eyes, watching the scene unfold with her best friend in her place, catching the hesitation in her husband’s eyes, feeling the twitch of his lips as they struggle to spit out the words. “I’ve been rehearsing this in my mind for weeks,” he says. “I thought I knew just how to say it …”
    “Oh, for God’s sake, Paul,” Eve interrupts, impatience mixed with intrigue, “just say it.”
    Paul turns back toward the window, unable to confront his wife directly. “I think we should separate,” he says finally.
    “What?” Eve’s gasp carries traces of a laugh. She knows this is a joke, a prelude to an announcement that will undoubtedly please her.
    Paul turns slowly back in her direction, his voice steadier, gaining confidence through repetition. “I think we should separate, live apart for a while …”
    “All this because I refused to go skiing last winter?” Eve teases. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a tad?”
    “I’m serious, Joanne,” Paul tells her.
    Eve sees that he is. Her back sinks into the softness of the blue chair. For an instant, but only an instant, her eyes cloud over with the hint of tears, and then, almost imperceptibly, her face changes, the set of her jaw hardens, and the clouds are gone, the would-be tears evaporate. Eve stares at Paul with cold, clear eyes, and when she finally speaks, her voice is hard, her words angry. “Do you mind telling me why?”
    “I’m not sure that I can.”
    “I think you’d better try.”
    “I don’t know why,” Paul admits after a lengthy pause.
    “You don’t know why,” Eve repeats, nodding as if she understands, which only serves to underline the absurdity of what Paul has just said. “You’re a lawyer, Paul,” she prods. “Come on, you’re usually so good with words. Surely you can think of something, some little reason that might help explain why you’d walk out on a marriage of almost twenty years, not to mention the two daughters of that marriage. I don’t think I’m making an unreasonable request.”
    “Please, Joanne,” he urges, “don’t make this any harder for me than it already is.”
    Eve is on her feet now, furiously pacing back and forth. “Yes—heaven forbid we make this any harder for you.” She bites off each word abruptly.
    “Believe me,” he tries lamely, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
    “Then why are you?”
    “Because I’d be hurting you more if I stayed.”
    The look on Eve’s face is a mixture of scorn and bewilderment. “How could you possibly be hurting me more if you stayed?” she demands, and when he says nothing, demands further, “How?” She stops her pacing, stands directly in front of him, carefully measuring out the force of her words. “Don’t think you’re doing this for me, Paul. You’re not doing this for me. At least be honest. The only person you are doing this for is yourself.”
    “All right,” he admits, his own voice rising in anger for the first time. “I’m doing it for myself. Don’t I count for anything?”
    “Not a whole lot,” Eve shoots back, seeking to wound, succeeding.
    “I’m sorry. What else can I say?”
    “You can tell me why,” Eve persists, unwilling to let him off the hook with a simple apology, no matter how sincere the delivery.
    His face searches