The Deeds of the Disturber Read Online Free PDF

am quite aware of what your mama meant," Emerson said, scowling. "What are you up to, Amelia? I will probably be obliged to spend more time than I would like in this filthy town if I am to finish my book—"
    "You will unquestionably be obliged to spend a great deal of time in London if you are to finish it before we return to Egypt next autumn. Considering that the Oxford University Press announced its imminent publication a year ago—"
    "Don't nag, Amelia!"
    I shot a reproachful glance at Emerson and a meaningful glance at Ramses, who was listening with owl-eyed interest. Emerson put on a sugary-sweet smile. "Ha, ha. Your mama and I are joking, Ramses. She never nags; and I would not be so rude as to mention it even if she did."
    "Ha, ha," said Ramses.
    "As I was saying," Emerson resumed—turning his head away so Ramses would not see him scowl, "I cannot help but wonder, Amelia, if you are suddenly enamored of this pestilential ant heap of human misery because you—"
    "Dear me," I said. "We are all becoming a trifle smutty. Ramses, your nose . . . There, that is better. Where is the cat Bastet?"
    "In the cabin, of course," said Emerson. "She has better sense than to expose herself to this pernicious atmosphere."
    "Then let us retire and complete our preparations for disembarking," I suggested. "Ramses, you have Bastet's collar? Remember, tie the lead to your wrist and do not allow her ..." But Ramses had departed, wriggling from my grasp with eellike agility.
    The sullen skies were just as dark when we again stood on the deck, but for me they were brightened by the sight of those who awaited us on the dock: Emerson's dear brother Walter, his wife Evelyn, my sister in affection as well as in law; our faithful parlormaid Rose, and our devoted footman John. As soon as they saw us they began to wave and smile and call out greetings. I was particularly touched at Evelyn's braving the filthy weather. She hated London, and her fragile blond beauty looked quite out of place on the grimy dock.
    As was so often the case, my dear Emerson's thoughts were the reflection of my own, though he did not express them quite as delicatelyas I would have done. Squinting narrowly at his sister-in-law, he demanded, "She is not pregnant again, surely? It is unnatural, Peabody. I cannot conceive why a woman—"
    "Hush, Emerson," I said, poking him gently with my parasol.
    Emerson looked warily at Ramses. He had never fully recovered from a conversation the previous winter, during which he had been obliged to discuss with Ramses certain matters which do not ordinarily interest an English gentleman until he has reached the age of twenty-five or thirty.
    Ramses stood stooped under the weight of the cat, who was lying across his narrow shoulders; but Ramses had been known to talk—at length—under even more adverse conditions. "I am eager to question Aunt Evelyn concerning that," he remarked. "The information you gave me, Papa, was inadequate to explain why any sensible individual would place himself—or, particularly, herself—in positions that are at best unnatural and at worst—"
    "Be still, Ramses," Emerson shouted, crimsoning. "I told you never to discuss—"
    "You are not to ask your Aunt Evelyn anything of the kind," I exclaimed.
    Ramses said nothing. His silence suggested that he was working on ways to get around my prohibition. I had no doubt he would succeed.
    Thanks to Emerson's imposing physical presence and loud voice we were among the first to disembark, and I rushed toward Evelyn with outstretched arms. Conceive of my surprise when, just as I was about to enter her fond embrace, I was seized by a tall, portly individual in a black frock coat and silk hat, who pressed me to his enormous stomach and planted a whiskery kiss on my forehead. Extricating myself instantly from his embrace, I was about to retaliate with a shrewd blow from my handy parasol when the man exclaimed, "My dear sister!"
    I was his sister. That is to say, he was