The Day The Sun Fell From The Sky Read Online Free PDF

Kov is saying since I had stopped moving.
    “Can’t.” I reply.
    “Move her.” Vinn gives the command and two other soldiers come into view of the camera. They pull me up roughly and hoist me onto the table.
    Straps are pulled across to immobilize me and then the camera pans toward Hash, who is preparing another needle.
    “What are you doing?” Vinn asks him.
    “I’m putting her under.” The medic replies.
    “Who says we’re going to need anesthetics?” Says Kov.
    “No. You can’t… You can’t do that to her.” Hash’s face has gone very pale.
    So this is what he was trying to tell me to forget earlier in the day. I wasn’t just sterilized. I was sterilized under complete awareness. Vinn had told Hash to give me the stimulant before he knew that an anesthetic would not be administered. They were going to make me stay awake for the operation.
    At this point in the video, some members of Padd’s squad begin to excuse themselves from the room. Eventually, aside from the camera operator, only Vinn, Kov, Hash and one other soldier who has a gun pointed at Hash remain in the room.
    *_*
    “We have to stop meeting like this.” Hash tells me as I wake up in the “hospital ward” again.
    Only, this time I don’t have amnesia regarding the previous night. I remember what happened very clearly. After the video screening ended, I did go into shock like Hash had war ned earlier in the day. Kov left me alone in the “interrogation room” for some time. Then later, he came back with the rest of the squad and they took turns at raping me on the floor. Kov had succeeded in inducing apathy so that I no longer cared what they did to me or what they made me do.
    “I’m tired.” I tell Hash.
    “I know.” He replies.
    “If I ask you to give me an overdose, you’ll be able to do it right?” I look up into his eyes.
    He pauses for a moment before smiling. “If I did that for every patient who asked me, the army wouldn’t have many girls left.”
    “Why don’t you want to help us?” I ask him.
    “I did do that once – in the beginning.” He admits.
    “What happened?” I ask.
    “They found out. Big deal, I thought, they’ll just kill me. Except they didn’t. They tortured another girl. They intentionally dragged out her death to teach me a lesson.” He shakes his head.
    “Right now, I really want to be that girl.” I mutter to myself.
    “You don’t mean that.” He gives me a look of distain.
    He’s right. I never should have said that but I can’t help what I feel. This hopeless despair is the only thing I have left that still makes me feel human. Otherwise I would just be a sex object that doesn’t think for herself like what the army wants.
    “That’s not the only reason why I don’t want to do it.” Hash tries to explain. “Assisted suicide is not what most doctors are trained to do. Now, I realize that keeping you alive, prolonging your suffering so that the Venry can use you again and again, is not that much better ethically, but morally I can’t reconcile that within myself. I can’t kill someone when I know that I can save them. It doesn’t feel right.”
    “How do you deal with it?” I ask him.
    “Deal with what?” He replies, distracted.
    “These suicidal thoughts. You get them too but you’re able to dismiss them somehow.” I tell him.
    “Not completely.” He shakes his head. “You just have to keep reminding yourself that this isn’t a permanent state. One day this war will be over. And when it is, we need to have survivors who can tell everyone about what happened. I want to be that survivor.”
    “It’s not a war if it’s one-sided.” I remind him.
    “Oh, it’s a war alright.” He smiles. “It’s just not a military war because unfortunately the Knax do not have an army. But it is a conflict and conflicts always have a resolution. Whether it is resolved tomorrow or the day after doesn’t really matter. It’s only a matter of time.”
    “It matters to