The Dastard Read Online Free PDF Page B

lovely demoness. This was D. Metria, who had married, gotten half a soul, signaled the stork approximately fifteen hundred times in two years, and finally got its attention. Her half demon son, Demon Ted, was the result. He was the same age as the triplets, and could be fun when he chose to be, because he had crazy naughty boy notions.
    “How would you like the company of Ted and Monica?” Metria asked.
    “Sure!” the three said together. DeMonica was the half demon daughter of Demon Vore and Princess Nada Naga, and she was fun because she had naughty girl notions. She was also four years old. Mother did not really approve of the children's association with Ted and Monica, which made it all the more fun.
    Metria dissolved back into smoke. It formed into a ball, and the ball divided into two parts, which drifted to the floor. One part shaped into a little boy, and the other a little girl. The boy wore blue shorts and blue sneakers, while the girl wore a pink dress with pink sandals, and a red ribbon in her hair. “Hi, triples!” they said together. “Why so glum?”
    “We're all out of mischief,” Melody explained.
    “We can fix that,” Ted said, smiling so broadly that the corners of his mouth extended into his blond hair.
    “Not if Mother catches on,” Harmony said.
    Monica cocked her head to listen, making her brown hair flop. “She's not close,” she concluded. “She won't catch on if we're quiet.”
    “And if we don't make a smell,” Rhythm said.
    The others nodded. They had a formula for success.
    “So what do you have in mind?” Melody asked.
    Ted looked around, making absolutely sure there was no adult within range. “I thought of a way to fathom the Adult Conspiracy.”
    “OoooOooo!” the triplets said together, putting at least eight O's and some capitals into it. Of all the nuisances fostered by adults, that was the worst. They absolutely refused to let children learn certain potent words, or find out how the storks were signaled to deliver babies. It was a tyranny that oppressed every child. If Ted had truly found a way to get past that, it was the discovery of the millennium. Childhood would never be the same.
    But Monica was suspicious. “There have been false alarms before,” she said. “Like the time you wanted to form a smoke screen we could hide behind so we could see adults doing it.”
    “Well, how could I know they would wonder what such a big screen was doing in their bedroom?” That of course was the problem with Ted's ideas: there could be aspects he didn't think of. “Anyway, you didn't do any better spying on love springs.”
    “It's my talent,” DeMonica said. “Identifying springs. I just wanted to be sure they really were love springs.”
    “And they weren't,” he retorted.
    “You have a magic talent?” Melody asked, impressed.
    “You can tell what kind of magic a spring has?” Harmony asked, similarly impressed.
    “Well, sometimes I get it wrong,” Monica said. “But I know when one is magic, and I'm getting better at types.”
    “That's a good talent,” Rhythm concluded.
    “Well, there are no springs here,” Ted said, getting jealous.
    “Yes there are,” Monica said. “And I can identify them: bed springs.”
    The triplets laughed gleefully. Then they returned to the subject: the quest to fathom the Adult Conspiracy, They had never made much progress before. Still, it was a worthwhile pursuit. If they ever did manage to fathom the dread Conspiracy, they would tell all other children, and never again would any child be tortured by curiosity. “So what's your idea?” Harmony asked.
    “You three can conjure up a grown blind man,” Ted said eagerly. “And a grown blind woman. So they can't see us and know we're watching. If we don't make a sound, they won't know we're here. Then we can watch while they signal the stork.”
    They considered this. “Suppose they don't signal the stork?” Rhythm asked.
    “But they always signal the stork, when