The Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool Read Online Free PDF
Author: Wendy Northcutt
XTINCTIONS
Zap! Electricity has been part of our daily lives for scant generations, not nearly enough time to come to an evolutionary compromise with its danger. Kites, electric lines, TV power cords, stolen copper, and Tasers…this shocking subject merits a chapter of its own. Electricity surrounds us, and the curious human monkey cannot resist testing the circuits.
Darwin Award: ZAP!
Confirmed True by Darwin
2003, CALIFORNIA
A Los Angeles real estate attorney was skimming leaves from his pool when he noticed a palm frond caught in the power lines. His education had equipped him with sufficient acumen to become a successful litigator, yet he was not shrewd enough to avoid becoming a toasty critter when he reached up with the long metal pole and poked at the palm frond.
Did I mention the power lines?
Our lawyer was, for once, the path of least resistance.
Perhaps as an homage to his litigation skills, his family sued both the utility company and the pool supply store for failure to disclose the danger of poking a metal rod into the power lines.
Reference: Los Angeles Times, freerepublic.com, The True Stella Awards by Randy Cassingham
Reader Comments:
“A true frond.”
“Power lien strikes again!”
Darwin Award: Ditched
Confirmed True by Darwin
22 NOVEMBER 2007, NEW YORK
Joe, twenty, was drunkenly driving through Wayne County farmland in upstate New York. With the utmost of inebriated care he steered his car directly into a ditch. Knocked over a power line too. Oops! How could he rescue his car from the ditch without getting a DUI?
The only way out was to steal a nearby farm vehicle and winch the car out himself. So he approached the nearest farmhouse, managed to start a tractor, and motored over to the scene of the crash. With the utmost of inebriated care he then proceeded to drive several tons of metal directly into the downed power line.
Good-bye, Joe.
Hello, Darwin Award.
Reference: democratandchronicle.com
Darwin Award: Copper Kite String
Confirmed True by Darwin
19 MARCH 2006, BELIZE
One string short of a kite.
Benjamin Franklin reputedly discovered that lightning equals electricity when he flew his kite in a lightning storm. However, certain precautions must be taken to avoid sudden electrocution. Kennon, twenty-six, replicated the conditions of Ben Franklin’s experiment but without Ben’s sensible safety precautions.
Kennon was flying a kite with a short string that he had extended with a length of thin copper wire . You see, he was an electrician, and copper wire was just handy. The copper made contact with a high-tension line, sending a “terminal” bolt of electrical lightning sizzling toward the man.
Just bad luck? Not according to Kennon’s father, who said his deceased son was an electrician and “should have known better.”
Reference: Belize Reporter
Reader Comments:
“Let me put it this way, I wouldn’t want him wiring my house!”
“An electrifying experience!”
“Shockingly stupid.”
At Risk Survivor: Revenge of Mother Love
Unconfirmed
An example of temper overriding thoughts of safety.
Father was watching a soccer cup final on TV with his two sons. As Mum set about her seemingly endless rounds of household chores, she bemoaned Father’s lack of interest in washing the car, mowing the lawn, et cetera. Guys, you know the drill.
After ten minutes of ironing and griping she uttered the classic female complaint, “You never pay attention to me!” This met with the usual response from the sofa. “Yeah, in a minute.” This was the final straw. She decided to take charge of the situation.
Dramatically, she huffed into the kitchen and returned with a large pair of scissors, stomped loudly around to the back of the TV, grabbed what she thought was the cable, and cut through it with one deft movement of the shears. She then made an involuntarily deft movement herself, flying across the room and crashing against the door into a dazed and
Zap! Electricity has been part of our daily lives for scant generations, not nearly enough time to come to an evolutionary compromise with its danger. Kites, electric lines, TV power cords, stolen copper, and Tasers…this shocking subject merits a chapter of its own. Electricity surrounds us, and the curious human monkey cannot resist testing the circuits.
Darwin Award: ZAP!
Confirmed True by Darwin
2003, CALIFORNIA
A Los Angeles real estate attorney was skimming leaves from his pool when he noticed a palm frond caught in the power lines. His education had equipped him with sufficient acumen to become a successful litigator, yet he was not shrewd enough to avoid becoming a toasty critter when he reached up with the long metal pole and poked at the palm frond.
Did I mention the power lines?
Our lawyer was, for once, the path of least resistance.
Perhaps as an homage to his litigation skills, his family sued both the utility company and the pool supply store for failure to disclose the danger of poking a metal rod into the power lines.
Reference: Los Angeles Times, freerepublic.com, The True Stella Awards by Randy Cassingham
Reader Comments:
“A true frond.”
“Power lien strikes again!”
Darwin Award: Ditched
Confirmed True by Darwin
22 NOVEMBER 2007, NEW YORK
Joe, twenty, was drunkenly driving through Wayne County farmland in upstate New York. With the utmost of inebriated care he steered his car directly into a ditch. Knocked over a power line too. Oops! How could he rescue his car from the ditch without getting a DUI?
The only way out was to steal a nearby farm vehicle and winch the car out himself. So he approached the nearest farmhouse, managed to start a tractor, and motored over to the scene of the crash. With the utmost of inebriated care he then proceeded to drive several tons of metal directly into the downed power line.
Good-bye, Joe.
Hello, Darwin Award.
Reference: democratandchronicle.com
Darwin Award: Copper Kite String
Confirmed True by Darwin
19 MARCH 2006, BELIZE
One string short of a kite.
Benjamin Franklin reputedly discovered that lightning equals electricity when he flew his kite in a lightning storm. However, certain precautions must be taken to avoid sudden electrocution. Kennon, twenty-six, replicated the conditions of Ben Franklin’s experiment but without Ben’s sensible safety precautions.
Kennon was flying a kite with a short string that he had extended with a length of thin copper wire . You see, he was an electrician, and copper wire was just handy. The copper made contact with a high-tension line, sending a “terminal” bolt of electrical lightning sizzling toward the man.
Just bad luck? Not according to Kennon’s father, who said his deceased son was an electrician and “should have known better.”
Reference: Belize Reporter
Reader Comments:
“Let me put it this way, I wouldn’t want him wiring my house!”
“An electrifying experience!”
“Shockingly stupid.”
At Risk Survivor: Revenge of Mother Love
Unconfirmed
An example of temper overriding thoughts of safety.
Father was watching a soccer cup final on TV with his two sons. As Mum set about her seemingly endless rounds of household chores, she bemoaned Father’s lack of interest in washing the car, mowing the lawn, et cetera. Guys, you know the drill.
After ten minutes of ironing and griping she uttered the classic female complaint, “You never pay attention to me!” This met with the usual response from the sofa. “Yeah, in a minute.” This was the final straw. She decided to take charge of the situation.
Dramatically, she huffed into the kitchen and returned with a large pair of scissors, stomped loudly around to the back of the TV, grabbed what she thought was the cable, and cut through it with one deft movement of the shears. She then made an involuntarily deft movement herself, flying across the room and crashing against the door into a dazed and
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