the time I approached the end of the bar, I was shaking violently and was pretty sure I was crying. Salvo glanced up from wiping down the bar.
“Trey, what the hell—”
“Keys.”
He pulled them from under the bar, and slid them to me. I caught them as Georgie blasted out of his booth, calling my name. I stumbled, caught myself, then pointed back towards Georgie and fixed my eyes on Salvo.
“Don’t... through...” I managed before bolting out the front door, then stopping to hurl again next to the black cinderblock wall. The door crashed open behind me and I pushed off the wall, half-running and half-falling towards my car.
“Trey, you okay?” Benny asked.
I shook my head as I continued on to the safety of kitten. Georgie called again, and I locked my slurried vision on Benny’s large frame.
“Please?”
It was all I needed to say. Benny growled like an attack dog then lunged out of sight.
“What the fuck you do to him, you maggot?”
That was all I heard as I slammed into the side of kitten, causing her alarm to blare into the night like a siren. Fumbling with my keys, I managed to hit the right button, and she chirped her acquiescence.
I found the key, jammed it into the lock and it bounced off, leaving a fair scratch in the paint. The key went in the second time, and I wrenched the heavy door open then froze. I could feel the slime soaking through my jeans. Kitten was a virgin and if I climbed in to her, she would never be clean again.
I could clean her... I could make her clean again... couldn’t I? My vision swam at the idea then I remembered the blanket. Popping the trunk, I grabbed the blanket I kept there. Very carefully, I laid it over her black leather seat before I gingerly climbed in.
Something wet hit my fisted hands in my lap, causing me to jump, repulsed, before I realized it was my own tears. I began to rock like I had when I was a kid. I couldn’t seem to stop. I just wanted to roll up into a ball, but I couldn’t. Not until I was safely in my dorm room.
As I parked in front of the dorm, I kissed kitten’s steering wheel, thanking her for getting us both home in one piece. I climbed from the car, being careful not to touch her more than necessary. I wadded up the blanket then on my way past, I shoved it into the garbage can near the door of my building.
I managed to get my door open, managed to get to the bathroom and pull out a garbage bag from the stash under the sink, then somehow managed to step into the shower before I broke down completely.
Screaming, I tore my clothes off, shoving them in the garbage bag before falling hard to the tiles. I curled into a ball, continuing to wail for I didn’t know how long, until my voice gave out anyway. I again thanked the powers that be for putting me into the oldest dorm on campus. The thick concrete walls appeared to be impervious to sound. Otherwise I would have been kicked out or moved to a mental institute a long time ago.
It took everything I had not to scrub off the top few layers of my skin. Regardless, an hour later I was bleeding in several spots, and my anus was raw from two slightly overheated enemas. I was wise enough to know all the bleaching and scrubbing in the world wouldn’t erase what he had done. It would be trapped in my mind, along with all the other horrors that lived there, forever.
By the time I managed to get dressed, my mind was working once more. I stared at the garbage bag containing the defiled clothes for a moment before I pulled open the second drawer in the vanity. I retrieved a pair of disposable latex gloves and tugged them on, then I grabbed another garbage bag from under the sink.
Very carefully I transferred my denim jacket to the second bag, and tied them both closed. I’d had that jacket a long time, and it had become my trademark on the Ave. The least I could do was attempt to wash it. Now, whether I succeeded or not remained to be seen.
The jacket, safely contained in