The Darker Side of Mummy Misfit #2 Read Online Free PDF Page B
Author: Amanda Egan
talons elsewhere.”
Couldn’t have put it better myself! Silver was right - Mrs S can still be quite lucid when she’s focused on something other than her loneliness.
Gestapo and Pritesh left pretty soon after that and Mrs S and I played some Manilow quite loud and shared a Babycham or three.
Saturday 11 th October
My unscheduled drinking session with Mrs S resulted in my forgetting to collect Max from school yesterday.
Not big and not clever, I know. Feel mortified. I am an unfit parent. A misfit mummy.
Fenella (oh perfect and gobby one) realised that he’d been left abandoned at the classroom door and brought him to Mrs S’s, after trying our house, to find us both sprawled on the sofa, sobbing and singing ‘Can’t smile without you’ whilst sharing a desperate bottle of cooking sherry.
I have vague recollections of her taking me home and putting me to bed saying that she’d feed the kids and wait until Ned came home.
Have had to deal with a very disgruntled husband all day and nurse a humdinger of a hangover. Babycham with a cooking sherry chaser are not a good mix.
Sunday 12 th October
Nic called and told me that he’s booked a couple of nights in Brighton for us to have a little “girlie time”.
“Now Libs, you can’t say no. I’ve squared it all with Neddy-Boy and he thinks it’s a great idea. He’s got Fenella sorted to take Max to school and look after him until he gets home from work. It’s a done deal. We leave on Wednesday and you vill say yes. Resistance iz futile.”
Felt a bit railroaded into it all. And a bit miffed that Fenella had been roped in. Why doesn’t she just move in with my husband and be done with it?
And of course, she’ll find it a breeze to care for three kids as she grows another oh so perfect one .
Ha! Bet she doesn’t realise she’ll have to chair the rescheduled fundraising meeting on Thursday.
I shall be on a jolly in the gay capital of England and, because of my monumental stuff-up at the last meeting, she’ll have to pick up the pieces.
A teeny-tiny part of me feels a bit guilty - I’m obviously not 100% bad yet.
Monday 13 th October
Decided to do the charity shop rounds to cheer myself up. I know I can easily afford something more upmarket now but it’s just not me and I love the challenge anyway.
Picked up a great Chloé top and some Joseph trousers - for the grand total of fifteen quid.
Dropped them at the dry cleaners feeling smug.
Once upon a time I would have had to choose between buying the top or the trousers and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford the dry cleaning.
Tuesday 14 th October
Bit of a tricky one with Max on the way to school today.
“Mummy, I don’t understand . How can our baby have died if it wasn’t born?”
Found I had to pull the car over to answer that one and replied, after a long think, “Oh Maxie! The baby wasn’t strong enough to grow anymore. There’s really no other way I can explain it to you. Some babies just aren’t lucky enough to be born.”
He thought this one through for a minute and then added, “I was lucky Mummy, wasn’t I? I’m a big strong boy and I’ve got you as my mummy.”
Drove the rest of the way to school through a haze of tears.
PM
Spent the evening packing for my break with Nic.
Could almost hear Ned’s sigh of relief as he watched me close my case.
Tomorrow night he’d have the house to himself and his boy with no miserable, hormonally-charged wife around.
And I’ll be dancing in a gay club, pretending I don’t have a care in the world.
Pretending.
Wednesday 15 th October
Nic and I left at ten this morning and travelled first class on the train to Brighton.
It’s been a good few years since I’ve been away with him and I’d totally forgotten how even the simplest of
Couldn’t have put it better myself! Silver was right - Mrs S can still be quite lucid when she’s focused on something other than her loneliness.
Gestapo and Pritesh left pretty soon after that and Mrs S and I played some Manilow quite loud and shared a Babycham or three.
Saturday 11 th October
My unscheduled drinking session with Mrs S resulted in my forgetting to collect Max from school yesterday.
Not big and not clever, I know. Feel mortified. I am an unfit parent. A misfit mummy.
Fenella (oh perfect and gobby one) realised that he’d been left abandoned at the classroom door and brought him to Mrs S’s, after trying our house, to find us both sprawled on the sofa, sobbing and singing ‘Can’t smile without you’ whilst sharing a desperate bottle of cooking sherry.
I have vague recollections of her taking me home and putting me to bed saying that she’d feed the kids and wait until Ned came home.
Have had to deal with a very disgruntled husband all day and nurse a humdinger of a hangover. Babycham with a cooking sherry chaser are not a good mix.
Sunday 12 th October
Nic called and told me that he’s booked a couple of nights in Brighton for us to have a little “girlie time”.
“Now Libs, you can’t say no. I’ve squared it all with Neddy-Boy and he thinks it’s a great idea. He’s got Fenella sorted to take Max to school and look after him until he gets home from work. It’s a done deal. We leave on Wednesday and you vill say yes. Resistance iz futile.”
Felt a bit railroaded into it all. And a bit miffed that Fenella had been roped in. Why doesn’t she just move in with my husband and be done with it?
And of course, she’ll find it a breeze to care for three kids as she grows another oh so perfect one .
Ha! Bet she doesn’t realise she’ll have to chair the rescheduled fundraising meeting on Thursday.
I shall be on a jolly in the gay capital of England and, because of my monumental stuff-up at the last meeting, she’ll have to pick up the pieces.
A teeny-tiny part of me feels a bit guilty - I’m obviously not 100% bad yet.
Monday 13 th October
Decided to do the charity shop rounds to cheer myself up. I know I can easily afford something more upmarket now but it’s just not me and I love the challenge anyway.
Picked up a great Chloé top and some Joseph trousers - for the grand total of fifteen quid.
Dropped them at the dry cleaners feeling smug.
Once upon a time I would have had to choose between buying the top or the trousers and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford the dry cleaning.
Tuesday 14 th October
Bit of a tricky one with Max on the way to school today.
“Mummy, I don’t understand . How can our baby have died if it wasn’t born?”
Found I had to pull the car over to answer that one and replied, after a long think, “Oh Maxie! The baby wasn’t strong enough to grow anymore. There’s really no other way I can explain it to you. Some babies just aren’t lucky enough to be born.”
He thought this one through for a minute and then added, “I was lucky Mummy, wasn’t I? I’m a big strong boy and I’ve got you as my mummy.”
Drove the rest of the way to school through a haze of tears.
PM
Spent the evening packing for my break with Nic.
Could almost hear Ned’s sigh of relief as he watched me close my case.
Tomorrow night he’d have the house to himself and his boy with no miserable, hormonally-charged wife around.
And I’ll be dancing in a gay club, pretending I don’t have a care in the world.
Pretending.
Wednesday 15 th October
Nic and I left at ten this morning and travelled first class on the train to Brighton.
It’s been a good few years since I’ve been away with him and I’d totally forgotten how even the simplest of
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