The Culmination Read Online Free PDF Page A

nibble Gracie’s neck. “Nom, nom, nom. I love me some Gracie.”
    Gracie squeals.
    “You like the pretty sparkle boots I got you, boo?”
    “Grassy luh da boots.”
    “Well, that’s good because I love you.” I pucker and Gracie instantly smashes her wet lips into mine. “Mmm,” I say. “Yummalicious.”
    “Yummaleesh,” Gracie repeats, and I laugh.
    “Amazeballs?” I prompt.
    “Mayzbilz.”
    I giggle with glee. “Holy crappola,” I say slowly.
    “Holuhcrup.”
    I laugh again and Gracie’s face lights up. I could play the “repeat after me” game with Gracie all day long. It never gets old.
    “You funny,” Gracie says to me, and I laugh. This is her recent catchphrase, and I absolutely love it.
    “I funny,” I agree.
    “Hey, Sarah Cruz,” Josh says, breaking away from his front-door conversation with Jonas and striding across the room toward me. “What the hell are you teaching my daughter?”
    I stand up from Gracie to give Josh a hug. “Only the most important words in the English language.”
    “Damn, girl, you’re fucking huge,” Josh says.
    “ Josh ,” Kat warns.
    “Sorry.” Josh glances at Gracie. “ Darn , girl, you’re effing huge.”
    “That’s not what I’m censoring you about. Sarah’s not huge .”
    “It’s okay,” I say. “Yes, I am.” I pat my massive bump. “Pretty soon, the earth’s gonna start orbiting me.”
    Kat opens her mouth to refute me but then shrugs with resignation. “Well, I’m not too far behind you,” she finally says, obviously conceding the point. She pats her own belly, but it’s a ridiculous comparison.
    “Ha!” I say. “My belly could swallow yours like Pacman on a little white dot.”
    “So, how’s the double-incubation going for you?” Josh asks, rubbing my mammoth belly.
    “Pretty good. But Jonas-Monkey right here”—I put my fingertip on what’s gotta be Crazy Monkey’s elbow (or maybe his foot?)—“has been stomping on my sciatic nerve a lot lately. This little troublemaker’s been making it awfully hard to get a good night’s sleep.”
    “Like father like monkey,” Josh says, shooting his brother a smile. “Wait a second. You said he . Is it two boys?”
    “No, we didn’t find out,” Jonas says. “Sarah’s just convinced she knows. ”
    Josh laughs. “Well, shit man, she’s Sarah Fucking Cruz. Of course, she knows.”
    “Language, babe,” Kat interjects.
    Josh smirks. “She’s Sarah Effing Cruz. You should never doubt mother’s intuition, bro—and that’s especially true when the mother is Sarah Effing Cruz—Sarah Effing OAP Cruz.” He winks at me.
    I roll my eyes. Josh has been calling me “OAP Cruz” ever since that video of me in Thailand went viral—but to this day I have no idea what he thinks OAP stands for, since I’ve certainly never told him. As far as I know, only three people in the world know what OAP stands for, and Josh isn’t one of them. “Yeah, I told Jonas to respect mother’s intuition,” I say, “but my dear husband never listens to me. He thinks he’s the smart one in the relationship.”
    “Ha!” Josh scoffs. “Hardly. Bro, listen to your wise and powerful wife.”
    “Yeah, Jonas, listen to your wise and powerful wife,” I say. “And listen to your wise and powerful brother, too—especially when he tells you to listen to your wise and powerful wife.”
    “Oh, I’m well aware Sarah’s the smart one in this relationship,” Jonas says. “Trust me.”
    Josh laughs and settles himself into an armchair. “So you’re thinking it’s boys, huh? That’d be hilarious. Hey, Jonas, let’s start a baby-pool at work. I’ll put a thousand bucks into the pot to make things interesting for everyone.” He rubs his hands together. “And if I happen to win the pot, then you can pay me personally in karaoke. I’m thinking Neil Diamond, ‘Coming to America.’”
    “Oh my God,” I say, laughing. “I’d pay a thousand bucks to see Jonas sing that.”
    “I know,