The Countertenor Wore Garlic (The Liturgical Mysteries) Read Online Free PDF

Some of the squirrels have that crazy cow thing going on."
    "Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease," said Nancy. "East Tennessee just had another outbreak."
    "Yeah, that's it," said Pete. "Mad squirrel."
    "They're for Archimedes," I said. "I supplement his diet. Mice in the summer, baby squirrels in the winter. Don't want him to go hungry."
    "Do owls like meatloaf?" asked Dave, pushing the piece of meat to the edge of his plate. "I'd rather eat squirrel brains than meatloaf."
    Noylene walked up to the table, whisked up Dave's plate and put a fresh platter of pancakes down in front of him. "We could hear you whining all the way back in the kitchen. Here y'all are. Eat up."
    "Noylene, I love you," said Dave happily.
    "Welcome to the club, Noylene," said Nancy. "Dave loves anyone who will feed him."
    Noylene patted him on the head like a puppy, then turned her attention to me. "Hey, I've got a question. Are those your baby squirrels in the back?"
    "Yep."
    "I'm only asking 'cause I could sure use a handful of 'em for a stew I'm cooking up. There's nothing better than a few tender sugar-babies to flavor the stock."
    "Nope. Sorry, Noylene. They're for Archimedes."
    "How's that old fella doing, by the way?" asked Nancy. "I need to come by and see him."
    "He's just fine."
    Archimedes is a mostly tame, mature barn owl. He is predominantly white and has a wingspan of about two feet, which allows him ample space to float through the main living space of the house without obstruction. He’s been part of the family for the past six years, coming and going as he pleases, thanks to an electric window in the kitchen. Baxter ignores him for the most part since he has no interest in meals-on-wings. I feed Archimedes quite regularly, but that doesn't stop him from hunting on his own. In warmer weather, we'll see him in the top of a big oak next to the house, pulling pieces off an unwary rabbit, a field-mouse, or even the occasional snake. During the winter, the owl spends a great deal of time during the day perched on the head of my full-sized stuffed buffalo, preferring the warmth of the house to the naked wind in the trees. Most nights, winter or summer, he's up and away.
    "Hmm," said Noylene. "Too bad. Hog had his teeth set for some squirrel." She exhaled heavily from between pursed lips. "Well, I've got to head on to the Beautifery. We've got appointments all day starting at ten. I've got to go open up."
    "What's wrong, Noylene?" I asked. "You feeling all right? You look plumb worn out."
    Noylene's shoulders slumped. "I jes' can't get any sleep. Lil' Rahab's got the croup and I haven't been to bed since Methuselah was a boy."
    "What'd Dr. Dougherty say?" asked Nancy.
    "She's got him on some medicine. It helps his cough some, but he don't sleep more than an hour at a time. I gotta hold him or he's not happy."
    "Where is he now?" I asked.
    "Hog's got him," she said. "This morning I just had to get out of the house. He's bringing Rahab up to the Beautifery. I got a room set up in the back. The girls and I take turns walking him."
    "By the way," I said, "did you go back to the Piggly Wiggly with some more coupons?"
    Noylene smirked. "Nah. I jes' wanted to rattle Amelia's cage. I've been waitin' for months for Roger to screw that ad up. Amelia and me... well, we go way back. About twenty years ago, on the day before Thanksgiving, she up and stole the last turkey in Watauga County right out of my grocery cart when I left it for a minute to get a can of cranberry sauce and some pecans. Right out of my cart! "
    "That's quite a grudge," I said.
    Noylene wagged a finger at me. "I'm sorry," she continued, "but when something's in your cart, it's your own rightful property unless you put it back on the shelf or leave the store for any reason. That's the law. Says so in the Constitution."
    Pete nodded his agreement. "I'm no Constitutional scholar, but I believe she's right."
    "Oh, that was just the beginning," said Noylene, her eyes brightening just a bit. "We been