The Chickens of Atlantis and Other Foul and Filthy Fiends Read Online Free PDF

peepers will attest, I ’ave now arisen to somewhat greater ’eights.’
    Cameron Bell now levelled his ray gun at Mr Arthur Knapton.
    ‘A short-lived career, I'm afraid,’ said he, ‘for you are now under arrest.’
    I must confess that the further guffaws that now issued from the mouth of Arthur Knapton, I, too, found annoying.
    ‘Under arrest?’ he croaked, between his outbursts of hilarity. ‘Look at yerself, little man, why doncha? You dare t’ threaten me ?’
    Mr Bell nodded. ‘Do you have an overcoat with you?’ he asked. ‘Otherwise you might get a trifle wet in that fancy-dress costume when I escort you in handcuffs to Bow Street.’
    And once more those guffaws rang loudly in our ears.
    ‘Best gag him, too,’ I suggested.
    ‘Oh, please stop it.’ Arthur Knapton raised his gangly arms and waggled his over-long, beringed fingers. ‘I ain't bein’ taken nowheres. And this ain't no fancy dress.’
    Cameron Bell shook his head.
    Arthur Knapton continued, ‘I ’as come a long way since last we met,’ he said. ‘A long way an’ a good many “whens”.An’ I ain't Arthur Knapton no more. I'm Akhenaten, lord high muckamuck of ancient Egypt, I am. An’ I'll ’ave you talk civil when in me presence, or I'll ’ave yer ’ead chopped off.’
    ‘I don't think he's coming quietly,’ I said to Mr Bell.
    ‘ Begone! ’ the cockney pharaoh shouted, and then strange things occurred.
    The yellow glow grew to a blinding light and Mr Bell was flung backwards from his feet. I dodged nimbly away at this point to avoid being squashed by the most substantial detective.
    There then came a mighty crackling as of static electricity, which caused every hair I possessed to stand up aloft from my person.
    I heard a great clamour as of chiming bells, a scurrying of sandalled feet upon marble floor and then what sounded to me like water escaping from some mighty bath down a plughole.
    And then, in what appeared to be the very blinking of an eye, Mr Bell and I found ourselves the only occupants of the Egyptian Gallery. The book-shifting Nubians had gone and so, too, had Arthur Knapton, Akhenaten as he claimed, along with his mighty sarcophagus.
    Mr Bell arose from the floor and said, ‘Well now, yes indeed.’
    ‘He vanished away,’ I said in reply. ‘He and his band of Nubians. And, I rather suspect, all of the British Library with them.’
    ‘He certainly did,’ said Mr Bell. ‘And I should have seen it coming.’
    I cast a questioning glance at Cameron Bell. ‘You knew that something such as that was likely to occur?’ I said.
    ‘I suspected something of the sort, yes.’
    ‘Then he has defeated you once more.’
    ‘Not yet,’ said Mr Bell. ‘The game has only just begun.’
    ‘ Begun? ’ I made a further questioning glance. ‘He vanished away to who knows where. He clearly has magical powers. We have probably seen the last of him. A shame for you, but it cannot be helped.’
    ‘It can be helped,’ said Cameron Bell.
    To which I shook my head. ‘You had your try and you failed,’ I said. ‘It was a brave effort, but now it is my turn and I choose that we depart for eighteen twenty-four to watch Beethoven conducting the Ninth.’
    Mr Cameron Bell now shook his head.
    ‘You are shaking your head,’ I told him.
    ‘I am indeed,’ this man agreed, ‘because you and I both swore an oath that we would travel to wherever and whenever you wished once I had apprehended the criminal mastermind. But not before then. We shook upon this but an hour ago. I am sure that you remember.’
    ‘I do,’ I said and I hung my head. ‘And I recall your distinctive chuckle.’
    Cameron Bell chuckled now. ‘I shall have Mr Arthur Knapton,’ he said. ‘No matter where or when.’
    ‘ When? ’ I said, in a somewhat leaden tone.
    ‘When indeed!’ said Cameron Bell. ‘Because, as must surely now have dawned upon you, we are dealing with no ordinary criminal mastermind with delusions of world domination, but