The Bravest Kid I've Ever Known and Other Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls Read Online Free PDF Page A

sleigh and wrote a note.
    Back soon.
    Just how soon he came back, I never found out. But, as Father Christmas later said, ‘You can’t expect people to work without holidays.’

Neil Pike was a naughty boy.
    A very naughty boy .
    You see, Neil did smells. All the time. Rotten, disgusting smells. On purpose. Sneaky, steamy, silent smells. Without warning. ‘Soupcoolers,’ Neil called them.
    If ever there was a competition for making smells — and let’s hope there’s not — Neil would win without trying.
    Of course, good boys and girls like you and me would never dream of doing the foul fluffs for which Neil became known. Except for accidents, of course. But Neil was so naughty he even did smells in the classroom. And do you know what? Not once did he get into trouble. How could he? Our teacher always had to leave the room.
    Who, then, could possibly have guessed that Neil would become a hero? That Neil Pike’s pooeys would one day be the pride of the school…
    It all began one rainy afternoon. In fact, rainy isn’t the word. It was absolutely bucketing down. Neil said that in all his eleven years he had never seen rain like it. It was only a matter of time, reckoned Neil, before the whole school would begin to float away.
    Our teacher, Mrs Cooper, said she’d never heard such nonsense. If Neil didn’t stay quiet, she’d keep him in after school.
    Neil said sorry to Mrs Cooper, smiled, and then let go one of the worst silent-but-deadlies you could ever imagine. An absolute hummer. A plastic bag full of dead rats left in the sun for a month would have smelled better. Mrs Cooper put her hand to her mouth and left the room to be sick.
    It wasn’t long after Mrs Cooper returned that they first noticed. Things were starting to float past the window. First the shelter shed, then Mrs Cooper’s car.
    ‘Oh no!’ screamed Simone Edwards. ‘It’s not the car that’s moving. It’s us !’
    By now, every kid in the class had their noses pressed against the window, trying to see through the rain. It was true.
    The whole school was afloat.
    You see, Neerim Inlet Primary School was built very close to the beach. Too close. Neerim Inlet Primary School was drifting out to sea.
    Kimberly Hicks screamed. So did Brett Billsgrove. Mrs Cooper wanted to scream too. The loudest scream you have ever heard. But she knew she couldn’t. It was her job to make sure everyone stayed calm.
    Too late. Much too late. By now every kid in the room was screaming or crying or running round in circles and yelling for Mum and Dad.
    Except, that is, for Neil.
    ‘Sit down!’ shouted Mrs Cooper above the noise. ‘If we stay calm, we’ll be all right. Please!’
    But no-one listened. And for the first time in his life, Neil felt sorry for Mrs Cooper. And he knew exactly what he had to do. He had to get everyone’s attention and the only way to do that was to let go the loudest explosion he’d ever done in his life.
    Now, we’ve all let fluffy off the chain from time to time. And we’ve all done some loud ones. But this one was an absolute blurter. A thunderer. A ten.
    Pictures rattled, curtains blew and desk-tops flapped. The room went silent.
    ‘And there’s an SBD to come if you don’t all shut up and listen to Mrs Cooper!’ shouted Neil.
    ‘Thank you,’ said Mrs Cooper. ‘A bit more choke and that would’ve started.’ She knew that laughter was the best way to help children relax.
    ‘Now,’ said Mrs Cooper. ‘It’s obvious the school is floating and we’ve been blown out to sea. But if you listen, the wind has stopped and so far we haven’t sprung any leaks. If we all sit perfectly still we’ll keep floating and eventually someone will come to rescue us. Now, any questions?’
    ‘What if no-one comes?’ asked Kim Ng.
    ‘They will,’ replied Mrs Cooper.
    But no-one did. Not because they didn’t care. There were just too many people to be rescued. The whole Neerim Inlet township was afloat.
    So the class waited.
    And