The Boyfriend of the Month Club Read Online Free PDF Page A

kind of—”
    “So you work for Florida Charlie,” Doug said. “It’d be worth the humiliation just to spend ten minutes talking to that guy. I saw him interviewed once on TV. He’s like something off another planet. Is the crazy Cuban lady still around? Isn’t she the one who makes the alligator his costumes?”
    Uh-oh. Mal Genio was fully awake now and begging to be let out to play. The hell with the five minutes. Grace was out of here.
    “For your information, babe ,” she said to Doug, “Florida Charlie is my father. And that crazy Cuban lady is my grandmother. Besides being an excellent seamstress, she also dabbles in brujería . That’s witchcraft, honey , in case you flunked high school Spanish. So you better watch out, or I’ll find a live chicken she can sacrifice to make a potion that shrinks your pecker even smaller than it already is.” Grace stood and looped her purse over her shoulder.
    Doug’s eyes gleamed in satisfaction. “You’ve dated some crazy chicks in your time, Farrell, but I think this one’s my favorite!”
    Brandon grabbed her by the wrist. “Hey, I told you, he doesn’t mean anything by it. Give me ten minutes—”
    “I’m gone in the next five seconds. You can either come with me or not. At this point, I’d actually prefer you didn’t.”
    “You’re joking, right?” Brandon looked confused. “No one’s ever walked out on me before.”
    “Then consider me your first.”
    “Tracy, I think you need to calm down.”
    Grace froze. “What did you call me?”
    Brandon frowned. “I meant to say . . . Grace.”
    “But you didn’t.”
    “Isn’t that what your friend with the blond hair calls you in class?” Brandon asked in the tone of someone who was being wronged. “I have no idea how you’d get the nickname Tracy from Grace, but hey—”
    Despite the horribleness of it all, Grace started to laugh. It was a high-pitched, scary sounding laugh. Mal Genio wasn’t going to be stopped. Not tonight anyway.
    “What’s so funny?” Brandon demanded.
    “That’s Gracie , you idiot. My friend Sarah calls me Gracie. Not Tracy. You didn’t even know my friggin’ name!”
    By comparison to just a few minutes ago, the room was now relatively quiet. Grace could feel at least a dozen pairs of eyes on them.
    “Sit down, you’re embarrassing me,” Brandon whispered tightly. “Let me finish my beer and then we’ll leave.”
    Grace could feel the rational, calm side of herself sliding into some dark abyss. She thought about how excited she’d been over tonight’s date. About how she and Sarah had spent the better part of an hour trying to decide what Grace should wear. And how she hadn’t eaten anything all day. And the humiliation she’d felt when Felix had figured out she’d been stood up. And how Brandon let his friend Doug make fun of Pop and Abuela . . .
    “ I’m embarrassing you ? Brandon, I wouldn’t go anywhere with you if you were the last man on earth!”
    And then something happened that Grace hadn’t exactly planned on. With a dramatic flair, she’d spun around to leave, causing her purse to knock over the pitcher of beer. Straight down the crotch of Daytona Beach’s most eligible bachelor.

3
    Does Talking to a Plastic Alligator Mean You’re Crazy?
    She hadn’t meant to do it. But somehow it would come back to bite her in the ass. Bad karma usually did. And while the person she would have really liked to douse in beer (baseball-cap-wearing Doug) only stood back with his mouth gaping open, seeing Brandon Farrell jump from his chair, his face silly with shock, had been extremely gratifying.
    She could have offered to help dry him off (on the other hand, no—that wouldn’t have been a good idea). Instead, she turned on her heel, and with her head held high, marched straight out the front door of the Wobbly Duck. Chairs had instantly slid to clear a path. No weaving her way through the tables this time. She might not have made much of an impression