The Book of Daniel Read Online Free PDF Page B

but doing all right.”
    “It’s not that bad, you know?”
    “Sure,” I said, looking out the passenger window. I found it ugly. There were times I couldn’t even look at it. I flexed my fingers where I could see them and felt a familiar, sickening lurch in my gut. “I know. I’m grateful I still have my hand.”
    As we passed the intersection behind the gym, we heard the first wails of sirens behind us and pulled over to let fire trucks and the EMTs pull past.
    “That your man?”
    “Yeah.” Jake squinted after them. “He’s on shift. Cam too. I wonder what’s up. Something on the highway probably.”
    “Probably.” As we pulled into the parking lot next to the high-school field, we could still hear the sirens. “Do you ever give any thought to what they might be going into?”
    My brother flashed me such a look of contempt, it surprised me. Of course he did . I was stupid to even ask. The man he loved was in that paramedic unit, and they could be rolling into anything. I have to admit I’m a seriously self-absorbed fuck sometimes. If I loved someone like that I’d be holding my breath every time I heard the trucks pull out.
    “Of course you do. That’s JT out there. I wasn’t thinking of it like that.”
    “It’s time you did think of it like that. That’s what I’m asking of you. Fuck the ceremony, fuck the party, fuck whatever it’s going to cost. I’m committing to the man I love, and I need you to treat my feelings like they deserve to be treated. Like they’re real. Like they’re significant. If not… Don’t bother showing up.” He got out of the car and started marching to the field, leaving me to extricate myself.
    “Aw, Jakey.” I ran after him carrying the bag of food. “ Yasha . Don’t be like that. I’m always the last person to arrive at these things. You know that. But I get there eventually. I get it. I do. I’m sorry.”
    “I know,” he said before he left me to join the team holding practice. He turned back around with a wry grin on his face. “Eat your dinner. Later I’ll explain emotions to you again, you sorry bastard.”
    I sat down on the bleachers and wondered what I was doing there. I’d originally gone to mend fences. Had I done that? Or made things worse? I peered into Jake’s bag with some notion of grabbing a bottle of iced tea, but as soon as I did, I saw he’d carefully packed everything he knew I love to eat.
    There were containers of his special chicken salad, which he made with grapes and celery and I don’t know what all—crunchy bits of candied nuts and some elusive middle-eastern spice that elevated it to gourmet fare. He had some sort of sandwiches wrapped in parchment paper that I discovered were full of grilled vegetables and herbed goat cheese. I found a container of peppers and one of pickles. Each course was beautifully prepared, each thing wrapped perfectly so that it stayed that way.
    “Jeez, Jakey.” When I got out a fork and lifted that first fresh bit of chicken to my mouth, I realized he must have forgiven me before I’d even arrived.
    I looked up and found him watching me from the sidelines while the players did a dribbling drill.
    I waved, and he waved back, smiling.
    Fuck my hand. I was lucky I got to keep my brother . I had a feeling that if I focused on the most important outcome of our accident, I’d be just fine.
    My phone rang, so I got the earpiece from my pocket and answered it that way. “Livingston.”
    “Daniel, it’s Bree.”
    I hesitated before talking, because she wasn’t supposed to call me. Ever. She was supposed to call her lawyer, Jim Anderson, who had the spectacularly bad judgment to also be her lover, and he was supposed to call mine. “Yeah?”
    “It’s probably nothing, but I found a letter in the mailbox for you today. I wondered why it didn’t get forwarded, and then I realized it doesn’t have a stamp on it. Why the hell would someone drop it off?”
    “I don’t know. Who is it