The Book of Awesome Read Online Free PDF

lights never lined up. You’d hit two greens, then two reds. You’d race through a couple of last-second yellows and then get your comeuppance with five reds in a row. Yes, it was a frustratingly, fuel-wastingly, stop-and-go-to-slow ordeal.
    Now, one night I was driving home from Mike’s place a little later than usual. We started a movie when we should’ve called it a night, and I was trucking home at three in the morning on a Tuesday . I approached The Gauntlet groggily and hit the first few green lights in a row, no problem. Nothing special, I figured, probably just a tease. After all, The Gauntlet had never lost .
    But then, before I knew it, I had made a couple more.
    Then a couple more.
    Then a couple more.
    Suddenly I was two lights away from the finish line and I couldn’t believe my luck. Looking ahead I could see that both lights were green, tempting me, showing me what might be possible.
    So I gunned it.
    I blew through the second-to-last green and saw that final one turn to yellow. There was no way I was going to get that close without making it through, so I punched the gas and barely squeezed by as the light turned red.
    Although almost running a red wasn’t the smartest move in the book, making it through The Gauntlet was one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. I was buzzing huge that night and smiling ear to ear. And really, just tell me the truth—if you’ve ever blown through a string of green lights in a row, how does it make you feel?
    I’ve got just one guess.
    AWESOME!

When you push the button for the elevator and it’s already there
    Ding!
    AWESOME!

Bakery air

    Bakery air is that steaming hot front of thick, buttery fumes waiting for you just inside the door of a bakery. And I am just going to tell you straight up: That is some fine air.
    Bakery air immediately fills you up with the sickly sweet smell of rising cupcakes, crisping croissants , and the distinct aroma of globby oatmeal turning into a delicious tray of sugary-brown cookies.
    It’s a powerful and intoxicating smell that rivals some of the best smells out there: late night summer barbecue, new car smell, gasoline, fresh baby, or even, dare I say it, campfire in the woods. Yes, I went there.
    Now, is it just me, or do you ever feel sorry for the people working in the bakery? You know, because they might just get used to the smell and stop enjoying those hot bakery whiffs all the time? I really hope it’s not like that. I really hope working in a bakery never turns into a regular job full of early mornings, oven-scorched eyebrows , varicose veins, and floury underwear. No, bakery air is just too good for that. It can’t become another day at the office, it just can’t. So let’s make sure we all enjoy it.
    Catch some of those sugary vapors next time you’re running past a cinnamon bun place at the train station. Suck back a noseful of hot fumes when you walk the dog by an open bakery door on Saturday morning. And make sure when you stop to smell the roses, you stop to smell the croissants and cookies too.
    AWESOME!

Tripping and realizing no one saw you
    Babies take a while to walk.
    If you’ve seen it happen, you know there is plenty of falling, crawling, and bawling. Hey, there’s a reason most two-year-olds are covered in fat lips, skinned knees, and coffee-table-dented foreheads .
    Learning to walk ain’t easy.
    Sure, you did it and I did it but we probably couldn’t do it again. Like learning anything tough and life-altering, learning to walk is a messy process that takes time and patience.
    First, there is rolling. That cute little baby-powder ball of flabby arms and puffy diapers twists and shimmies on the cold linoleum with a big smile on her face. This marks a major step as baby is learning to move on her own. Don’t laugh because you were once a flabby, wiggling diaper ball too.
    Once that’s nailed, it’s time to sit up and start crawling . This turns the house into a carpeted jungle full of discovery