The Bloodsworn Read Online Free PDF Page A

mean?”
    â€œCome on, Allie. How many times have you done something rash and nearly gotten yourself killed in the process? Hells, nearly gotten
me
killed? Not two hours ago, you were begging forgiveness for having your spy assassinate Varad. A sodding
Trion
, and you had him snuffed without even consultinganyone! Can you blame me for being afraid of what you might do next?”
    â€œYou’re going to throw that in my face?”
    â€œI’m not throwing anything in your face. I’m stating a fact. I’m trying to make you understand that I’m
terrified
, Alix.”
    She drew another breath, deep and shuddering, trying to cling to some scrap of control. “I understand that. What I don’t understand is why you’re saying any of these things. I have to go to Andithyri. You have to stay here and protect Erik’s crown. We owe him this, you and I. We owe him everything.” And then, without thinking: “You, especially.”
    A crushing silence followed this addendum. Liam looked at her numbly. Too late, Alix realised what she’d done. She’d stabbed him in the place it hurt most, the secret wound he’d been trying so hard to overcome. He was a bastard, nameless, worthless in the eyes of the world until Erik acknowledged him. Still convinced somewhere deep down that he didn’t deserve the new life he’d been given. And now Alix had made it sound as if she agreed, as if it were a debt he could never repay.
    â€œJust so I’m clear,” he said quietly, “is that because he gave me my name, or because he gave me my wife?”
    â€œGave you . . . ?” The rage bled away, leaving her insides scoured and empty. For a moment, she couldn’t find her voice; when she did, it seemed to whistle through the cracks. “No one
gave
me to you, Liam.”
    â€œNo? He never fought for you, not really. Tell me the truth: if Erik hadn’t stepped aside, would you have . . . Would you and he . . .” Even now, he couldn’t finish the sentence.
    â€œHow can you ask me that?” she whispered tremulously. “
Why
would you ask me that?”
    They’d never spoken about it openly, not since the night Alix had made her choice, the night she’d come to Liam’s bed and told him she loved him. Why would they? What possible good could come of it? Alix had proven her love again and again. At least, she’d thought so. But now here was Liam, standing before her in the apartments they shared as husband and wife, questioning whether she’d really made a choice at all. Whether when all was said and done, she wouldn’t rather be with Erik.
    â€œYou almost married him,” Liam said.
    â€œBut I didn’t. I married you. That was
my
choice. No one else’s.”
    The anger drained from him now too, but Alix could see that it left behind the same bitter residue. They both knew what they’d done. Some words, once spoken, can never be taken back.
    Liam passed a hand over his eyes. “I don’t even know why I said that. It’s just . . .”
    â€œYou don’t trust me,” Alix said. “You don’t trust
us
.”
    â€œThat’s not true.”
    But it was true, at least on some level, whether he admitted it to himself or not. Alix had thought the past was behind them, but she saw now that she’d been naïve. Liam had been carrying it with him all this time, an invisible weight around his neck. Or worse, a slow poison in his veins.
Maybe we can never be free of this. Maybe the only reason we’ve made it this far is that there are so many more important things going on around us.
    She looked at Liam and saw her thoughts mirrored in his eyes. And for the second time that day, Alix’s heart broke.
    It’s behind us, love.
So Liam had said little more than an hour ago. But nothing was behind them. Not now, and maybe not ever.
    She turned away