to drop by and see you or his kids?”
Lissa snorted. “I have no idea.”
“Wait! Have you even told him you are pregnant?”
“No. I have no idea how to do that.”
“You aren’t in touch with him?”
“No, but not because I haven’t tried.”
“What do you mean?”
Looking at her sister, she decided to unburden herself. Joan deserved the entire story. “It’s the weirdest thing, Joan. The relationship took off like a skyrocket and fizzled about as fast. I was in Switzerland for a conference. I’d met him before, but this time something wild and wonderful happened. Lights went on and we wound up spending much of our time in bed. It was glorious. I honestly believed that we both thought we had a good thing going and we would see each other again. He’d even talked about doing some work together as well. To be honest, that was almost as exciting to me as the hot sex. Well, no, it wasn’t, but anyway, it didn’t matter. None of it ever happened. I never heard from him again. I sent him emails and letters… And then I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I was curious—well, I was tearing-out-my-hair crazy— wondering why he wasn’t answering. I read a story about him at some event, so I knew he was alive and well. I sent messages to hotels I knew he was staying at. I never got his personal cell-phone number, but I used every business address to try and contact him, and never got any reply at all.”
“Strange. You’d think a man would at least have the balls to say ‘fuck off.’”
“It was insanely disappointing, for sure. I guess I misjudged him completely, not to mention how he felt about me.”
“I guess things like that can happen.” She didn’t look convinced.
“Short of tracking him down and beating on his door, I can’t think of anything to do, and I don’t seem to be in a position to do that, even if it were a good idea. So here I am.”
“Still doing everything you can to get the kids to term.”
“Which seems to be pretty much a matter of doing almost nothing, with the logical result that three incredibly healthy babies will have a mother covered in bed sores who has gone off her nut.”
“All mothers are crazy. It’s a hazard of the job.”
“I suppose it might be.”
“I take it that you are looking forward to getting back to work almost as much as having the babies.”
She sighed. “Almost. That is, if Tina Peters doesn’t manage to put me out of business before I get the chance.”
“No way that is going to happen. You have a good name. Your clients like you and need you. She might skim or wreck a few things you had going, but she can’t destroy it.”
“Good names have a limited shelf life, sis. And goodwill goes just so far. If you aren’t available when you’re needed, those sweet memories fade.”
Joan shrugged. “Well, you have to take one step at a time, just like us addicts and drunks, I guess.”
“Hey, life is always gonna be sequential.”
“I bet that’s one of the cool things they taught you at the London School of Economics.”
“Actually, I think I saw it written on a bathroom wall in a pub.”
# # #
During the taxi ride back to Lissa’s lovely apartment where she was staying, Joan let herself think about what she would do with her own life. Her counselor had suggested she start making a list of goals for herself. “Then you can start seeing which ones are reasonable.”
That was all well and good, but Joan knew she was in an odd place in her life. She’d fallen off a cliff. She’d made incredible money as a model and it was all gone. She’d blown every penny on clothes, drugs, booze, and flying to parties in Europe for more drugs and booze. She didn’t want that life back—being out of that scene was actually a relief—but finding another way to earn a living was tricky. The reality was that, other than modeling, she didn’t have many skills. What she knew was how to look good and appear elegant. She’d cut her