The Best of Archy and Mehitabel Read Online Free PDF Page B

might have been
    a fairly decent sonnet writer
    i might have been a poet
    if i had kept away from the theatre
    yes says ben i ve often
    thought of that bill
    but one consolation is
    you are making pretty good money
    out of the theatre
    money money says bill what the hell
    is money what i want is to be
    a poet not a business man
    these damned cheap shows
    i turn out to keep the
    theatre running break my heart
    slap stick comedies and
    blood and thunder tragedies
    and melodramas say i wonder
    if that boy heard you order
    another bottle frankie
    the only compensation is that i get
    a chance now and then
    to stick in a little poetry
    when nobody is looking
    but hells bells that isn t
    what i want to do
    i want to write sonnets and
    songs and spenserian stanzas
    and i might have done it too
    if i hadn t got
    into this frightful show game
    business business business
    grind grind grind
    what a life for a man
    that might have been a poet
    well says frankie beaumont
    why don t you cut it bill
    i can t says bill
    i need the money i ve got
    a family to support down in
    the country well says frankie
    anyhow you write pretty good
    plays bill any mutt can write
    plays for this london public
    says bill if he puts enough
    murder in them what they want
    is kings talking like kings
    never had sense enough to talk
    and stabbings and stranglings
    and fat men making love
    and clowns basting each
    other with clubs and cheap puns
    and off color allusions to all
    the smut of the day oh i know
    what the low brows want
    and i give it to them
    well says ben jonson
    don t blubber into the drink
    brace up like a man
    and quit the rotten business
    i can t i can t says bill
    i ve been at it too long i ve got to
    the place now where i can t
    write anything else
    but this cheap stuff
    i m ashamed to look an honest
    young sonneteer in the face
    i live a hell of a life i do
    the manager hands me some mouldy old
    manuscript and says
    bill here s a plot for you
    this is the third of the month
    by the tenth i want a good
    script out of this that we
    can start rehearsals on
    not too big a cast
    and not too much of your
    damned poetry either
    you know your old
    familiar line of hokum
    they eat up that falstaff stuff
    of yours ring him in again
    and give them a good ghost
    or two and remember we gotta
    have something dick burbage can get
    his teeth into and be sure
    and stick in a speech
    somewhere the queen will take
    for a personal compliment and if
    you get in a line or two somewhere
    about the honest english yeoman
    it s always good stuff
    and it s a pretty good stunt
    bill to have the heavy villain
    a moor or a dago or a jew
    or something like that and say
    i want another
    comic welshman in this
    but i don t need to tell
    you bill you know this game
    just some of your ordinary
    hokum and maybe you could
    kill a little kid or two a prince
    or something they like
    a little pathos along with
    the dirt now you better see burbage
    tonight and see what he wants
    in that part oh says bill
    to think i am
    debasing my talents with junk
    like that oh god what i wanted
    was to be a poet
    and write sonnet serials
    like a gentleman should
    well says i pete
    bill s plays are highly
    esteemed to this day
    is that so says pete
    poor mutt little he would
    care what poor bill wanted
    was to be a poet
    archy

archy confesses
    coarse
    jocosity
    catches the crowd
    shakespeare
    and i
    are often
    low browed
    the fish wife
    curse
    and the laugh
    of the horse
    shakespeare
    and i
    are frequently
    coarse
    aesthetic
    excuses
    in bill s behalf
    are adduced
    to refine
    big bill s
    coarse laugh
    but bill
    he would chuckle
    to hear such guff
    he pulled
    rough stuff
    and he liked
    rough stuff
    hoping you
    are the same
    archy

    horse shakespeare and i

the old trouper
    i ran onto mehitabel again
    last evening
    she is inhabiting
    a decayed trunk
    which lies in an alley
    in greenwich village
    in company with the
    most villainous tom cat
    i have ever seen
    but there is nothing
    wrong about the