The Best of Archy and Mehitabel Read Online Free PDF

one of old
    king
    tut
    ankh
    amen s favorite
    queens and today
    the village scavenger
    but wotthehell
    archy wotthehell
    it s cheerio
    my deario that
    pulls a lady through
    see here mehitabel
    i said i thought
    you told me that
    it was cleopatra
    you used to be
    before you
    transmigrated into
    the carcase of a cat
    where do you get
    this tut
    ankh
    amen stuff
    question mark
    i was several
    ladies my little
    insect says she
    being cleopatra was
    only an incident
    in my career
    and i was always getting
    the rough end of it
    always being
    misunderstood by some
    strait laced
    prune faced bunch
    of prissy mouthed
    sisters of uncharity
    the things that
    have been said
    about me archy
    exclamation point
    and all simply
    because i was a
    live dame
    the palaces i have
    been kicked out of
    in my time
    exclamation point
    but wotthehell
    little archy wot
    thehell
    it s cheerio
    my deario
    that pulls a
    lady through
    exclamation point
    framed archy always
    framed that is the
    story of all my lives
    no chance for a dame
    with the anvil chorus
    if she shows a little
    motion it seems to
    me only yesterday
    that the luxor local
    number one of
    the ladies axe
    association got me in
    dutch with king tut and
    he slipped me the
    sarcophagus always my
    luck yesterday an empress
    and today too
    emaciated to interest
    a vivisectionist but
    toujours gai archy
    toujours gai and always
    a lady in spite of hell
    and transmigration
    once a queen
    always a queen
    archy
    period
    one of her
    feet was frozen
    but on the other three
    she began to caper and
    dance singing it s
    cheerio my deario
    that pulls a lady
    through her morals may
    have been mislaid somewhere
    in the centuries boss but
    i admire her spirit
    archy

the lesson of the moth
    i was talking to a moth
    the other evening
    he was trying to break into
    an electric light bulb
    and fry himself on the wires
    why do you fellows
    pull this stunt i asked him
    because it is the conventional
    thing for moths or why
    if that had been an uncovered
    candle instead of an electric
    light bulb you would
    now be a small unsightly cinder
    have you no sense
    plenty of it he answered
    but at times we get tired
    of using it
    we get bored with the routine
    and crave beauty
    and excitement
    fire is beautiful
    and we know that if we get
    too close it will kill us
    but what does that matter
    it is better to be happy
    for a moment
    and be burned up with beauty
    than to live a long time
    and be bored all the while
    so we wad all our life up
    into one little roll
    and then we shoot the roll
    that is what life is for
    it is better to be a part of beauty
    for one instant and then cease to
    exist than to exist forever
    and never be a part of beauty
    our attitude toward life
    is come easy go easy
    we are like human beings
    used to be before they became
    too civilized to enjoy themselves
    and before i could argue him
    out of his philosophy
    he went and immolated himself
    on a patent cigar lighter
    i do not agree with him
    myself i would rather have
    half the happiness and twice
    the longevity
    but at the same time i wish
    there was something i wanted
    as badly as he wanted to fry himself
    archy

pete the parrot and shakespeare
    i got acquainted with
    a parrot named pete recently
    who is an interesting bird
    pete says he used
    to belong to the fellow
    that ran the mermaid tavern
    in london then i said
    you must have known
    shakespeare know him said pete
    poor mutt i knew him well
    he called me pete and i called him
    bill but why do you say poor mutt
    well said pete bill was a
    disappointed man and was always
    boring his friends about what
    he might have been and done
    if he only had a fair break
    two or three pints of sack
    and sherris and the tears
    would trickle down into his
    beard and his beard would get
    soppy and wilt his collar
    i remember one night when
    bill and ben jonson and
    frankie beaumont
    were sopping it up
    here i am ben says bill
    nothing but a lousy playwright
    and with anything like luck
    in the breaks i