The Bastard Takes a Wife Read Online Free PDF Page B

was
wearing a pastel pink checked bow tie that matched the colour of
the floral arrangements and a pair of casual pants in cream with a
shirt of the same colour. His neutral pink lipgloss glowed in the
early evening light. His hair was immaculate, as usual, and from
his left ear, he sported a headset into which he stopped every
thirty seconds and barked a soft but firm orders using code names
such as Mother Goose and Georgie Porgie. It was easy to see why he
was regarded as the best in his field. He had this party running
like clockwork.
    “Good. You’re here,” he said with a glance at
his watch that signified we were ten seconds late. “Now. You have
ten minutes to do the introductions with Sam’s parents and then
we’ll go to other important guests. At eight we’ll have official
photos and then at eight thirty, cake cutting followed by speeches
and gift opening.”
    “Isn’t it a little rude to be opening gifts
in front of the guests?”
    “Oh, you’re not doing that, I have you and
Sam scheduled for a spotlight dance then.”
    “A what!!!?” Sam looked appalled. Every one
knew he didn’t dance unless he’d had at least two bottles of red
wine beforehand.
    “You and Millie will be treading the boards
followed by the family members while the bridesmaids and Paige are
opening gifts and making notes on the cards as to who sent what.
Sasha will be supervising. Seeing as she’s been a bridesmaid eight
times, I thought it prudent to let her guide the other girls.”
    Sam held up a hand. “Just back it up there,
Angus. There won’t be any spotlight dances. I don’t dance.”
    “It’s true,” I acknowledged. “In fact, I
can’t remember the last time Sam danced. He hates dancing.”
    Angus’s face collapsed. “I suppose I should
have checked. I assumed that like all couples, you’d be doing the
dance.”
    Sam seemed to relax. “I think it’d be safer
if you don’t assume in the future. But it’s okay. All’s not lost.
I’ve got a few backups here. They love to dance.”
    Now Angus looked bewildered.
    “My mates from the Reserves team. I pay them
to dance with Millie so I don’t have to.”
    “You what?” It was my turn to look
appalled.
    “I thought you knew.”
    I’d always harboured the assumption the boys
danced with me because they liked me, or dancing, or both. “I
didn’t. And you can’t ask Woody to stand in at our Engagement
party. People will wonder what’s going on.”
    “It would be inappropriate,” Angus
confirmed.
    “What about Johnny, then? He’s Best Man?”
    Oh God.
    “NO!”
    “So I have to dance?”
    “Yes.” Sam may have paid people in the past
but now he was going to pay. I rubbed his forearm in a
pseudo-sympathetic manner. “Just think of it as Strippers Night at
the club. You danced with a pole then.”
    Angus coughed. “I think, in this scenario, if
that’s what gets you through Sam, do it. Either that, or I can give
you a Xanax.”
    Sam was stony. “I think I can cope. Thank
you.”
    Crisis averted, Angus consulted his
clipboard. “So, after the dance, you have half an hour scheduled to
do another round of social chitchat with the VIP guests. We need to
get a few informal shots for the social pages of The West at
some stage. Then your evening is yours.”
    The evening was ours? It’d be over by then.
All I’d wanted was a nice, simple informal party with some friends
and family. Instead I’d ended up with a re-enactment of every
horrendous wedding movie ever made. A couple of wedding crashers
and an ice sculpture would complete the picture. Desperate, I
looked around for a waiter-slash-circus person.
    “Someone get me a champagne please. I think I
need a drink.”
    “Just bring the bottle,” Sam called.
    Angus seemed happy. “Good idea. Calm the
nerves. Then we’ll go and meet the parents.”
    God help me, lets hope that wasn’t going to
be like the movie.
     
    *****
    Sam’s parents, Kent and Patricia, and his
twin sister, Amanda, were