The Bad Mother's Handbook Read Online Free PDF Page B

feel self-conscious consulting a psychic.’
    ‘Yeah, well, I’ll be honest . . . I don’t know what to
think. Does it matter? Am I going to interfere with the
vibrations if I don’t, er, completely believe . . . ?’
    ‘No.’ Very assured. ‘What is it you want to know,
Charlotte?’
    ‘I, um, oh God, now you’re asking. I think I need to
know what to do with my life. I want somebody to tell
me how to get out of Bank Top, ’cause it’s a dump, and
where I’d be happy. Is there, like, somewhere I should be headed? Point me in the right direction. Show me how to
change things.’ She was really listening, which unnerved
me, I wasn’t used to it. ‘Because I thought I had, but everything’s
just the same . . . Does any of this make sense?’
    Her lids and lashes were heavy with make-up as she
frowned, leaned forward again and studied my hand.
Then she began to talk quickly and confidently, her gaze
still fixed on my palm.
    ‘You’re an independent person. You are surrounded
by conflict. You have moments of confusion and at times
you feel nobody understands you.’
    Welcome to the World of the Average Teenager, I
thought.
    ‘There are a lot of choices coming up for you. You
don’t know which path to take. Difficult times are ahead
but things will resolve themselves by the end of the year.’
    Presumably I’d have sorted out my university application
by then.
    ‘You need to take particular care of your health over
the next twelve months.’
    ‘My mother’s always on at me to eat fruit,’ I joked. No
reaction.
    ‘Your love life will be complicated. Basically you have
too soft a heart, but you try to hide it. You will find true
love in the end, though.’
    Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have expected to hear anything
else. She wasn’t going to say, ‘You’ll shack up with a one-legged
dwarf from Adlington and he’ll beat you nightly.’
My lips were forming a cynical smile when she pulled
in her breath and whispered, ‘There’s somebody from the
Other Side looking after you. He’s here now.’
    A faint sad cry, like a child, made me freeze.
    ‘Oh, God.’ I half turned round, appalled. ‘A dead person?’
But there was only my reflection in the patio doors
and the grey cat mewing to be let in.
    ‘A little boy.’
    She waited for my response. I shrugged.
    ‘About eight or nine I’d say, dressed in old-fashioned
clothes, a cloth cap and short trousers. Big thick boots,
like clogs. He won’t tell me his name, he’s too shy. But
he’s holding out forget-me-nots to you.’ Jackie’s face had
gone blank-looking and she was focusing on a spot by my
shoulder. It was beginning to spook me.
    ‘I don’t know any dead children. God, this is so
weird.’
    ‘He’s very cold, very cold. He says you’re lucky, you’re
a lucky person. He says you should make the most of your
opportunities in life.’
    The tension made me laugh. ‘He’s been talking to my
mum. It’s a conspiracy.’
    Jackie glared at me and let go of my hand. ‘He’s gone
now.’ She made it sound as if it was my fault.
    ‘Good.’
    ‘But he’s never far away.’
    ‘Christ, don’t say things like that, I’ll never sleep at
night.’
    ‘He’s a friend.’
    ‘Right.’
    She got up and pulled the curtains across roughly.
I could tell she was annoyed with me and I smirked
nervously in the gloom. Then she lit candles and brought
over a Tarot pack.
    ‘Do you want me to carry on with this?’ She had a
penetrating stare; I felt like I was back in the first year at
school.
    ‘Yeah, absolutely. Sorry.’ Might as well get my
money’s worth.
    ‘Pick a card, then,’ she said.

    ‘Dirty little bugger,’ said Paul when I told him. ‘Here,
this’ll shift him.’ He aimed a trainer at the empty space
by the end of my bed. ‘Shoo. Go spy on someone else,
kinky devil. Go back to your cloud and play with your
harp or your pitchfork or whatever.’
    ‘Do you think there could be anything