The Autobiography of Mercutio Polinski Read Online Free PDF Page A

smiled.
    “ True. We suffer only when
we forget it. There isn’t any soul on earth, not even in the whole
universe, that does not deserve to go to heaven.”
    “ Even those who steal
biscuits?” I asked, because I remembered that time when, unnoticed
by anyone, I snuck a biscuit from the kitchen at home.
    “ Even those who grow sad
when they are by themselves.” Paul looked at me with his warm eyes.
I hung my head because I had been feeling sad when I was left on my
own, recently more often than ever. I didn’t think anyone had seen
me, but the writer knew it. He was smiling
kind-heartedly.
    “ Yes,” I said, a bit
embarrassed. “I am sometimes strongly grief-stricken, I myself do
not know why.”
    “ We all feel a little
miserable sometimes. Those are the graceful moments of our lives,
when we clearly realize who we really are. Sometimes I am sad when
I’m lonely, and then I find out I need a hug. There are other times
when I grieve that I see the sun setting, and then I realize how
much I love the day. And sometimes we may be sad because of things
that we think we want, but actually we don’t.”
    “ How so?” I asked, at the
same time as Rosa.
    “ When you don’t really
know what exactly you want,” the writer answered gently.
    “ But how can we know what
we really want?” I leaned toward him impatiently.
    “ That’s very easy. Listen
to yourself. You always know what you want; you just have to hold
your breath and listen to your soul. Then you will hear a little
voice that will remind you about your real wishes. You will feel a
light warming in your stomach when you reach the right
decision.”
    “ And what is that voice I
will hear?”
    “ That is you, your own
self that is hidden deep inside of you, waiting to be
recognized.”
    I grew pensive. So, of me there were
more than one inside, just the same as me? Was that possible? Paul,
as if he guessed what I was thinking about, quickly
explained.
    “ Your true self is hiding
from you when you are sad, and appears again when you are happy.
That’s why the faster you find out why you are sad, the faster you
can return to the you who is always happy.”
    I nodded in agreement.
    “ I’ve known since I was
very young that I am Joy!”
    “ Then tell me, my dear
little mouse, do you know why lately you have been
Sorrow?”
    I sank into deep thought. It is so easy
to realize something about yourself when you know why you are sad,
but what can you learn when you don’t know why you are sad? With
droopy ears, such as I had every time I was unhappy, I went to him
and cuddled in his neck.
    “ Some day you will know,”
he said, and went on reading his book aloud.

XI .

    How I Knew the Reason for My
Sadness…
    Rosa was so lovely, with her sparkling
look and beautiful bright eyes. She was a mystical creature that
soon started to fade away in front of me. Unnoticeably, almost
invisibly, she melted like a fallen autumn leaf in a rainy forest.
She became hollow-cheeked; her face became thinner, her look
darker. It took me a long time to notice all that, because for me
her real beauty arose from the depths of her breath. With this
change in her came my awareness of what had caused my sadness. The
insight about this reality, which at the beginning was only smiling
at me from a distance, was now weighing on my chest invisibly.
Before that I couldn’t understand where it came from, and I was
wandering between smiles and seriousness. But what you realize can
set you free, is that not so? It happened to me, too. The moment I
knew the reason for my sadness, I was freed from the burden of it.
But at what price?
    Rosa spent almost the whole day in bed.
She slept a lot more than before. She was exhausted. I tried to
cheer her up with funny stories and merry adventures, but this
could only bring a temporary smile to her face. It brightened up
the atmosphere for a very short time, and then she sank back into
the infinite world of the dream. I tried to keep her away