down turn and her face contort into something ugly, but she did not care and cried harder.
Silvie was the closest to Emma and she put her arms around her. “Let it all out. It’s gut to cry.”
The other ladies murmured their agreements with Silvie’s advice. Emma put her arms around Silvie’s graceful, slender neck and cried some more.
Ettie popped her embroidery on the floor and disappeared then came back and offered Emma a handkerchief.
“ Denke ,” Emma managed to say. After a while, Emma stopped crying and blew her nose. “I’m so sorry.” She looked at their concerned faces. “I feel so foolish.”
“ Nee , don’t. We’ve all been through it. You might find you cry at odd times because you’re so used to holding it all in and putting on a brave front,” Silvie said.
“ Jah , when you feel like crying it’s best to cry and not hold it in,” Maureen added.
“I’ll have to get used to hearing that people are having bopplis, I suppose and seeing couples happy. I just don’t know why Gott had to take Levi now. Couldn’t I have had a few more years with him and at least a boppli – or maybe two?” Emma asked.
“Who knows the mind of Gott ?” Elsa-May said.
Ettie added, “No one does. We just have to trust Him; we’re not called to understand Him.”
“Anything else on your mind, Emma?” Maureen asked.
Emma managed a smile. “ Nee , nothing else.” She wanted someone else to say something. She felt as if she’d dominated the group with her problems for long enough.
“I longed for a boppli as well, Emma. I know how you feel,” Maureen said.
Emma acknowledged Maureen’s admission and smiled. It was at least gut to know that someone knew the pain that she was going through. “Tell me, does it get easier?”
Maureen smiled revealing the slight gap in her two front teeth. “Oh jah . It does. I find I have to keep myself busy though. Busy with lots of things and working helps as well.”
“I find it best not to think about him at all. I got rid of everything he owned and I put him out of my mind. Every time I think about him I still want to cry,” Silvie said, with tears in her eyes.
A silence fell over the group. Elsa-May clapped her hands. “Let’s eat.” She rose to her feet and they all followed her to the kitchen. It appeared Emma was not the only one who had brought food. There was cheesecake, chocolate cookies, sugar cookies, chocolate fudge bars, roasted almonds and dried figs.
Ettie asked, “Everyone having meadow tea?”
Everyone said ‘yes’ to meadow tea with the supper. Emma followed everyone’s lead and sat up at the table in the kitchen. Even though the chairs in the kitchen were wooden as well, they were far more comfortable than the chairs in the lounge room.
Emma looked around at the ladies, then said, “I want to thank everyone for sharing their feelings. It makes me feel so much better. I mean – I felt alone and now I don’t.”
The elderly, Ettie put a hand briefly over hers. “That’s why we meet.”
Emma picked up a chocolate chip cookie and took a bite. Silvie sat opposite Emma. She was quite young to be widowed and Emma wondered if she had ever considered getting married again. Surely Gott would have someone else for her seeing was such a lovely girl and so pretty. Her hair was blonde, her skin creamy and her eyes were the bluest of blue that Emma had ever seen. Maureen was also attractive, a little older than Silvie, but still, a very handsome woman and she was wise and intelligent. Surely Gott could find menner for these women, she thought. Maybe, they are like me and don’t want another man.
“Emma, anytime you’re feeling sad you can always come visit me. I don’t live that far from you,” Silvie said.
“ Denke , I’ll remember that.”
Emma knew that Maureen and Silvie had jobs. Maybe that’s what she needed. If she had a job, that would take her mind off things.
* * *
The next day, Emma forced herself out of bed and
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley