The Alpha's Desire 5 Read Online Free PDF Page B

have this to deal with again. Worse than the first time as innocents have become involved. We are still his targets, but he is using the deaths of others to get our attention this time. We are sorry to rattle on. We are so beside ourselves with this news.”
     
    “We understand,” I said. “You talk all you need to. Rest assured that we will go. We will join in the fight.”
     
    I looked at Lex for his agreement, though I knew I didn’t have to. The idea he would stand beside me no matter what warmed my heart, gave me the first sense of strength since I’d walked into this room and heard the dreadful news that would change my life once again. I’d wanted to go back to visit the states, but had put it off at the same time. Now, I would have to, but not for the reasons I’d wanted to.
     
    I’d been trained for six months to use my magic, and a month now as a wolf. I needed to use these blessing I’d been given to help those who had helped me. I would, without question, as I had Lex when Daniel had taken him, but I wouldn’t go fearless into battle. Not this time at least, if one ever could. The whole idea of it turned my stomach, even just thinking of it. Fighting wasn’t exactly in my nature. To take a life, just the mere notion of it alone made me nauseous. I’d seen that first hand last time I’d come face to face with Daniel and let him go. So, this fight was on me.
     
    If I’d found it in myself to kill that man who had come so close to killing the man I loved, none of us would be facing this mess. I couldn’t even handle letting myself think of the innocent lives lost because I couldn’t kill a man. Sadly, I couldn’t reconcile either side, the guilt or being able to make another decision. Now, if given a second chance to take his life, I’d have no choice, would just need to deal with the way it would make me feel. I selfishly hoped that decision didn’t come down to me, and that made me feel even worse. The whole circular with no upside train wreck of thought wasn’t getting me anywhere, but I had the plane ride back to the States to figure it out, I guessed. I had to change the direction of my thoughts for a moment before I hyperventilated.
     
    Luckily the room filled with all these raging emotions made mine blend in.. I couldn’t put any of the way I felt into words just yet anyway, and I didn’t want them to see me as weak, not as I entered my first battle as a werewolf. They’d turned me, and so I needed to live up to my end of the bargain, find my spine no matter what it cost me, for Lex, for the Royals, for Nira and the vampires, for the innocents yet to be terrorized, not to mention the families of those already lost.
     
    I latched onto the thought of Nira to change the direction of the whirlwind in my brain that had already begun to restrict my veins, to make it tense and ache. It would be good to see my new friend again. Sad we never saw each other during times of peace. I’d promised to come visit. I’d intended to. Lex and I had spoken of a vacation back to the states. I’d wanted to just be able to chill out at the vampire loft, really get to know them as you could in times of peace. Sure, true character showed in times of war. I already knew what upstanding, amazing individuals the vampires were. What I wanted to know was more of their history, more of who they were as humans, walking dead ones.
     
    What had held me back at first had been turning and then training as a werewolf. After that, I’d put off going back just to delay having to see Chloe again. In my heart, I feared it would be a final visit. Even if I could make Chloe see how great Lex was, given I could only tell her a fourth of the truth about him. What would it gain my friend and I since Lex and I had chosen to live out the remainder of our lives on the island, going back to the States only when needed like now?
     
    Knowing Lex stared at me, I turned to him, unable to wipe the worry from my face. His hand came