The Accidental Life of Jessie Jefferson Read Online Free PDF Page A

music on to her own frigging computer all the time.
    I was so mean to Mum about it, and now she’s gone and I’ll never be able to tell her that I’m sorry. That I loved her. That I miss her.
    My throat closes up and there is no way I’ll be able to sing this song. So I bolt out of the room well before we get to the lyric about living for a thousand years.
    My mum didn’t even live to see forty.
    I run outside to the garden. There’s a bench seat down the back and I need a little time and space to get my head together. I turn to sit down and jolt with surprise when I see that Tom has followed me.
    ‘Are you OK?’ he asks with concern, as I slump on to the seat and wipe away the tears trekking down my cheeks.
    ‘I’ll be alright,’ I mumble as he crouches on the ground directly in front of me. His face is close to mine.
    ‘What’s wrong?’ His brown eyes look even darker in the low light.
    ‘That song.’ I sniff. ‘It reminds me of my mum.’
    I don’t know why I just told him that, like it was easy. I never talk about Mum to anyone these days.
    He swallows hard and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. He gets to his feet and I fleetingly think that he’s going to leave me to it, that this is too much, but he sits down next to me instead.
    ‘It’s OK to cry. I know it’s not the same, but when my dad left I must’ve cried every day for six months. Maybe more,’ he says.
    ‘I didn’t know that your dad left,’ I reply shakily, taken aback.
    He tilts his chin my way, but doesn’t meet my eyes. ‘He walked out on us just over a year ago.’
    ‘Where did he go?’ I ask.
    ‘America. With some woman he’d been having an affair with for three years.’ He sounds bitter.
    ‘God,’ I say. ‘And you haven’t seen him since?’
    He looks down at his hands. ‘I haven’t wanted to. My mum was devastated.’
    ‘But you obviously do want to see him,’ I say gently, my mind feeling miraculously clear considering the copious amount of vodka I’ve consumed.
    Tom shakes his head. ‘I couldn’t.’
    I have a feeling he could , but he feels like he can’t, out of loyalty to his mum. If anything, that makes me like him more. ‘I’m so sorry.’
    ‘JESS!’ Natalie calls from the house. ‘Are you down there?’
    ‘Yeah,’ I shout back wearily.
    She hurries up the garden path and then stops in her tracks when she sees Tom. ‘Are you OK?’ she asks.
    ‘I’m fine,’ I reply. Then, to my dismay, Tom gets up.
    ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ he says.
    I almost blurt after him, ‘don’t go!’ but Natalie takes his place and my heart constricts as I watch him lope back towards the house.
    ‘What’s everyone saying?’ I ask dejectedly as he goes inside.
    ‘Oh, don’t worry about them. They just think you ran off to throw up.’
    ‘Great.’ Obviously I’m being sarcastic.
    ‘Did you?’
    ‘No!’ I exclaim. ‘I just had a bad memory.’ I don’t want to go into the details.
    ‘About your mum?’ she asks uneasily.
    ‘Yeah. But don’t talk to me about it or I might cry again,’ I warn.
    ‘OK.’ She seems relieved. Here’s even more proof that she doesn’t do heart-to-hearts.
    ‘What did Tom say?’ she asks curiously.
    ‘Nothing much.’
    ‘Sorry, I wouldn’t have interrupted if I’d known you were out here with him,’ she apologises.
    ‘Don’t be daft,’ I brush her off.
    She nudges me. ‘You want another drink?’
    ‘No, I think I’d better reign it back in.’
    ‘Worried about Mr Taylor?’ she teases.
    ‘A bit,’ I admit honestly.
    ‘Fag, then?’ she offers. ‘I don’t have any left, but I can nick one from someone if you want.’
    I smile. ‘No, it’s OK.’
    ‘You are a flippin’ awesome singer,’ she says suddenly, with a grin, offering her hand for a high five. ‘We should form a band.’
    ‘Oh, yeah?’ I smirk, half-heartedly returning the gesture. ‘And what are you going to play?’
    ‘I don’t know. I’ll just bash about on a drum kit in the