Texas Read Online Free PDF

hung in the air before the yards like a veil screening the action behind it.
    Horses and riders were holding a mob that moved as a solid mass through the gate. Against the dust-filtered light were silhouettes of horns and heads, hats and horses, men in the shape of cowboys. Beasts bellowed. Long whips unfurled and snapped back, cracking like gunshot, and the dust flew in between. She was conscious of the feel of her back stuck to the vinyl seat and the way she moved with the vehicle as though it was an extension of her body. The jolts beneath her relaxed the invisible binds that prevented her from breathing freely.
    â€˜Look,’ she said to the boys, ‘we’re almost here.’
    Ollie stood up, grasping her shoulder, and Ned tried to stand on her lap. They followed the two-wheel track around the side of the yard and pulled up alongside the ramp. The driver got down from the truck and disappeared from sight. She helped the children out and as she did so she heard John’s voice. He was talking to the driver around the other side. She carried Ned on her hip and held Ollie’s hand as she walked to the front of the truck. She smiled as she made her way towards him. The children were squirming and wriggling like excited puppies.
    Texas ‘Daddy!’
    She let them go and as she looked up into his face that was partly obscured by the rim of his hat she saw from the straight line of his mouth that they weren’t welcome. He strode towards her, leaving the boys to trail after him. He grabbed her arm, pinching the bone above her elbow with his thumb and forefinger, and spoke into the side of her face.
    â€˜What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’
    Her teeth ground hard together with the effort of not making a sound. Her head suddenly felt full and dense as though a thick cloud of heat was expanding. Outwardly she was impassive.
    â€˜Hey boss!’ someone called over the yards. ‘They’ve lost some.’
    â€˜Useless bastards.’
    He let go of her and turned away, climbing easily over the yards. Skinny and long-limbed, his body moved as though it was capable of anything. In that movement she saw briefly what she’d seen when they first met. The children rushed to follow him but were stopped by the yards, peering instead through the gaps in the railings. The cattle lowered their heads and snorted, wide-eyed, tightly bunched and moving in a circle, uselessly, their red and white flanks rubbing together, tails lifting for a steady stream of shit that splattered those nearby, horns twisting and getting stuck, long threads of saliva hanging from foaming mouths, linking one to the other. She pulled Ollie down as he started to climb the rails. The driver was beside her. He took out a tin of tobacco. A light film of dust covered her face and she blinked to clear it from her eyes. Ollie was rubbing his and whining that his eyes were stinging. Ned began to too. It was getting late. It was their bath time and soon they would be hungry. She hadn’t brought anything with her. God, what was she thinking? She was suddenly so tired. So tired she could have settled into the grass and stayed there. But the boys grabbed at her. She had created them and they wanted her, wanted her to make everything all right for them. But how could she when she couldn’t even make it all right for herself?
    Dust grew denser and the shouting more intense. Horses galloped while their riders tried to wheel the runaways back into the yard. The driver said something again. She couldn’t remember his name or perhaps she never knew it.
    â€˜Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.’
    â€˜They won’t be loading tonight. Give you a ride back if you want. I’ll camp up at the station.’
    His voice penetrated her fog and it irritated her. She was embarrassed, too, by her husband’s lack of kindness. She looked at her feet and the grass around her that had been squashed.
    â€˜Thank