didnât get it. Then I did, and my heart skipped a beat.
âSo youâd give Mom up for Mrs. Wilson?â Sandra said, just to drive the point home. âNice. Bet that makes Mom feel really good.â
âWait, I just said that accidentally .â I gulped. âMom?â
âI know,â Mom said. She paused. âBut sweetie, you do know that Amanda is an only child.â
I drew my eyebrows together. What did that have to do with anything?
âI like Theresa, too,â Mom continued. âYou know what, though? I bet even she uses a sharp voice every so often. Just not when youâre there, perhaps.â
I tried to imagine Mrs. Wilson speaking sharply. I couldnât.
âAnyway, youâre part of this family,â Mom said. She glanced at me in the rearview mirror, and my heart hurt. She smiled, but her eyes had a smidgen of sad-Mommy in them. âWhat would I do without my Winnie?â
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That night I told Mom again that I really and truly didnât mean what Iâd said. I couldnât stand the thought that Iâd hurt her feelings. I would never want to hurt her feelings!
She kissed my forehead and said, âI love you, Winnie, and I know you love me. Donât worry, baby.â
But I did.
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The next day was a Sunday, and I made her a bookmark that said, âTo the Best Mom Ever.â On it I drew a picture of her reading a book, because she loved reading just like I did, and I laminated it using lots and lots of Scotch tape.
âItâs beautiful,â she said. âIâll keep it forever.â
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On Monday, as Sandra, Ty, and I were eating breakfast, I complimented Momâs blouse.
âThank you, Winnie,â she said from the sink, where she was rinsing dishes. She rarely sat down and ate with us kids on school mornings. Dad left for work before we even woke up, which meant Mom was on her own to get us up and dressed and fed and have time to run upstairs and âthrow a little makeup on,â as she put it.
âYou really are the best mom in the universe,â I said. âAnd the prettiest. And the nicest.â
âLaying it on pretty thick,â Sandra remarked. âAre you feeling guilty about something? Is that why?â
I glared at her. âNo.â
âAre you sure?â
âYou just hush.â I took a big bite of sausage biscuit as if somehow that would silence her, but all it did was keep me from being able to say anything when she kept right on talking.
âItâs just that you said something totally different two days ago,â she said. âIt was after we picked you up from Amandaâs. We were driving home, and you said . . .â She tapped her lower lip. â Hmm . What was it you said?â
âSandra,â Mom said in a warning tone.
Yeah , I tried to say, but my mouth was too full. I chewed and chewed, while at the same time giving Sandra an eyeball thrust to say, Shush, AND I MEAN IT .
Finally I was able to swallow. I washed everything down with a long swig of orange juice, which I sucked up using a shorter-than-normal plastic straw. A full-length straw would have been too tall for my glass, so Mom had snipped an inch off the bottom to make it fit.
Mom did that because she knew how much I loved straws. She kept a whole container of them on the kitchen counter, and she made sure we never ran out. She always remembered to plunk one into my glass, and if the glass was on the small side, she always cut the straw down to size.
She did all that for me.
Suddenly it was hard to make my throat work, even with my orange juice right there.
I needed to think about something else. I plucked my straw from my glass and held it between two fingers, pretending it was a cigarette. I inhaled, then exhaled with a loud puff. I did this several more times.
âYouâre going to turn your lungs black, you know,â Sandra commented.
âSmoking is disgusting,â