Television Can Blow Me Read Online Free PDF

leads to a request for footballers with lizard like qualities. It’s 10 a.m. Saturday morning and we’re already on to herpetology. He talks to a British woman about being lost in an American baseball stadium and how security won’t accept her British driving licence as ID. He sympathises. “The old pink driving licence looks like a receipt for a teddy bear”. Truedat.
    It’s all good. The weekend football action was only tangentially relevant. He demands a lot of his listeners and they like the challenge. There are deep seams of darkness, joy and weirdness in the collective experience of the British football fan. Long may they be mined.
    The verdict on 606 with Danny Baker: Some nifty scheduling.
    Marks out of 10: 8
    1 Courtesy of Hugh McIlvanney or some such grizzled old school hump.

Gong intermission

Aerial Telly Awards 2006
    Asking Aerial Telly to choose between his favourite TV shows is like asking him to choose between his children. But, as those of you with children know perfectly well, there’s always one you secretly like better. And there’s generally one runty little cunt who you never really loved who you have been secretly dying to get rid of. You “people” make me sick.
    Nonetheless, it’s around that time of year when I commence with the back slapping and the bitch slapping in the only industry awards that mean a damn thing: it’s the Aerial Telly Awards 2006. Look! It’s Kelly Brook and Billy Zane - they can Fuck Right Off if they think they’re getting in.
    Best show: Prison Break (FOX)
    It took our suspension of disbelief to levels that made us think 24 was cinéma vérité. We sweated, we shook, we howled - but it was all worth it. Because Lunk NEVER DONE IT and damn the conspiracy that keeps him on death row with his cereal box head and fat fingers. Fox River may be the only prison in America where nobody farts, swears or says nigga but you wouldn’t want to be spending much time there as being shanked, raped or mutilated is pretty much guaranteed. Prison Break’s season finale did not disappoint and we wait breathlessly for September’s sophomore effort.
    Worst show: Nigella (ITV)
    A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a woman who does not exist. Nigella Lawson - you may have heard of her. We miss the old Nigella Lawson (although with the size of her arse you couldn’t miss her from the moon) - flirty, indulgent and homely. She was replaced by the Stepford wife of Charles Saatchi in a woozy, anaemic mixture of cookery and chat that made you feel like you were stuck in a menopausal housewife’s dream state
    Best performance by a male: Idris Elba as Stringer Bell in HBO’s The Wire
    Continuing Hugh Laurie’s fine work in counter cultural imperialism, Hackney-born Idris Elba delivered pitch perfect performances as the ice veined Barksdale crew drugs baron Stringer Bell. Aided by some classy writing Elba portayed Bell as the embodiment of the rational, cold hearted machinations of the drug trade. Stringer’s big question was “what happens when you have an inferior product in an aggressive market?” The market was inelastic, Donette’s tits were plastic and the show was fantastic.
    Best performance by a female: Jaime Pressly as Joy in NBC’s My Name Is Earl
    Comedic find of the year My Name Is Earl needed some grit in the feel-good oyster. Step forward sometime Playboy model Jaime Pressly as Earl’s ex-wife Joy playing demented bad cop to the collective good intention of the rest of the cast. Representing all that’s wrong with humanity, Pressly plays the role with an unholy glee that suggests a secret affinity with the avaricious loon. And remember: If you’re looking for reasonably priced manicures gentle enough for a woman and man enough for a half fruit: call Joy’s Nails.
    TV Pie of the Year: Jaime Murray as Stacey Munroe on Hustle
    It might so easily have gone to panda eyed honey cunted goddess Tina O’Brien from Corrie. Few would have argued with Nadine Velazquez