Taming the Beast Read Online Free PDF

something, Sarah, and I want you to pay attention. When you’re feeling lonely–’ He took her left hand and placed it firmly between her legs. ‘When you’re missing me–’ He took up her right hand and positioned it over her clitoris. ‘This is what I want you to do.’
    Sarah closed her eyes and let him move her. It was her hands, her fingers, but it was Mr Carr making her moan and shake. He kept control, nudging her to go further, move faster, make smaller circles. ‘You’re nearly there, darling,’ he told her and she started totell him she wasn’t, but he shushed her. ‘I want you to clench your muscles really tight. Try and squash your fingers.’ Almost right away, she was coming, the clenching bringing on the waves, which made her muscles contract, which brought on more waves.
    She sat up, and the blood returning to her head made the room spin. She closed her eyes until the dizziness stopped. When she opened them, she saw that Mr Carr was looking up at her with a toothless smile.
    ‘Well, I’d say that was a success.’
    She touched his lips with her fingers. ‘What?’
    ‘You did a fine job. You don’t need me anymore.’
    ‘No.’ She rubbed her hands over his face and lips. She slid to the floor, kissed his lips and tasted herself. ‘I do need you. I need you. I need you.’
    ‘You managed pretty well with your own–’
    ‘Shut up! You think you’re so smart, but I know what you’re trying to do. It won’t work.’ Sarah was kissing him, wrestling with his trousers, pulling off her own sweaty shirt. ‘You can’t make me not miss you. Having a stupid orgasm is nothing. Okay? Nothing. God, you’re so stupid! I’m always, always on my own. I could have a thousand stupid orgasms a day if I wanted. But it would just make me more alone. Can’t you understand that? If I touch myself it reminds me that I’m not touching you. I don’t want to touch or be touched by anyone else. I need you. You! Okay, do you get it, you stupid old man?’
    There was so much blood pounding in her head it was clouding her vision. She couldn’t see the expression on his face when he knocked her over, but the sound he made as he drove into her was frightening. Then there was no question of them not needing each other; they couldn’t seem to disentangle, couldn’t stop clutching and clawing, couldn’t not be one. By the time Mr Carr rolled offher, panting and gasping so badly that Sarah’s own heart began to flutter in fear for his, it was dark inside and out.
    Sarah’s mother was in the front room when Sarah got home. ‘Where have you been?’ she asked, without looking up from her book.
    ‘Jamie’s.’
    ‘Don’t lie to me, Sarah. Jamie called for you over an hour ago.’
    Sarah’s legs and back ached. She needed a hot shower and a soft bed. She leant against the wall, as far away from her mother’s chair as she could get without leaving the room. ‘I was just hanging out with some friends. I lost track of the time. I’m sorry.’
    ‘Your sister tells me you’ve been coming home late for weeks.’
    Sarah closed her eyes. Why the hell did her mother suddenly care what she was doing? Sarah would have killed for this much attention a year ago, but now she wanted to melt into the wall. She wanted to be invisible to everyone except
him
.
    ‘I’m sorry, Mum, but I don’t have anything else to tell you. I was with friends and I lost track of time. It won’t happen again.’
    Her mother put down her book. ‘I know what’s happening here. You’re fourteen; you’re trying to assert your independence. You’re testing the limits of your personhood. That’s a perfectly healthy, natural impulse for someone in your age group.’
    ‘I’m not an age group, Mum.’
    ‘Of course you’re not. You’re Sarah Jane Clark. An individual. I see you.’ She smiled. ‘You’re an individual who needs to know where her boundaries are. So, let’s negotiate.’
    She wished her mother could be normal, just yell