Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

and asked him, “So how do you like your Mercedes?” We easily fell into a chat about cars, and I mentioned that I worked for a dealer. He seemed interested in that information, so we exchanged business cards almost immediately.
     
We continued talking—about cars, about business in general, and ultimately, about our respective work lives. I asked him about his company, and listened intently to his responses, showing a sincere interest in what he was saying. (I learned later that he was struck by how easily and naturally I engaged him in conversation.) I also talked about some of my career interests, beyond selling cars. Finally, he looked me in the eye, and asked, “Jerry, what is it you really want to do with your career?”
     
I replied that I had really always wanted to get into the import/export business. My father was from Palestine and my mother from Colombia, so I grew up speaking both Arabic and Spanish, along with English. My whole outlook on life was international.
     
I learned my new connection also had an international orientation. And, would you believe, he ran an import/export company! We kept talking, and he explained that the key to success in that business was in making connections and building trust. He told me that he admired my ability to talk to people. I asked if I could phone him to continue learning about his company and explore possibilities for us to do something together.
     
As we interacted over the following weeks and months via phone conversations and e-mails, I began to learn the language of the import/export business. My new connection taught me how deals were structured and that striking these deals took especially good relationship skills. Finally, he asked me one day if I would work with him on an import opportunity. Of course I said yes; and together we completed a deal that led to a lucrative financial reward for both of us. And it all began with a simple question to the man at the pump next to me: “So how do you like your Mercedes?”—and a little schmoozing about cars and business.
     
     
    Chapter at a Glance
     
     
 
Success in life requires success with people.
     
     
Conversation builds relationships.
     
     
When we talk with others, energy flows and new possibilities are created.
     
     

Chapter 5
     
    The Limits of Online Connections
     
    The Internet and social media have presented new and seemingly unlimited opportunities for expanding our networks. Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, not to mention all the online tools yet to be invented, are in many ways redefining the way we interact and socialize. With the push of a button, you can add dozens, even hundreds, of names to your contact base. And for sure, those names represent opportunities you can uncover—some directly; some indirectly. Yet nothing will ever beat sharing physical space, shaking a hand, and looking someone in the eye when it comes to creating and cultivating quality relationships. As Warren Buffet, the icon of business and investor success, asks in his ad for the National Business Aviation Association, “Ever give a firm handshake over a speakerphone?” He would likely ask the same question in the context of the Internet.
     
    For better or worse, depending on your perspective, Facebook has redefined the word friend , and LinkedIn has recast the word connection . To me, a friend is someone who will be there for you any time, all the time, someone who knows you well and whom you know. There is a level of trust that permeates a friendship. You have a history with a friend, where time and personal sharing build mutual experiences that form the foundation of the relationship.
     
    LinkedIn has made connections a numbers game, sometimes with little regard for relevance, influence, or the quality of the contact. It’s a contest for how many people you can add to your connections, rather than their likelihood of actually helping you in some way, or their degree of influence, authority, and