Taking Stock Read Online Free PDF

“You could be working for him.”

 
    Chapter Three
    Home, I take two steak burgers from the freezer and put them in the microwave. I only had enough break left to grab an apple after my encounter with Eric, and now I’m craving meat. Once they’re done I place them in buns, squirt some ketchup on, and eat them standing in the kitchen.
    Marcus Brutus comes in and gazes up at me with wide eyes. “Meow.”
    “Shut up.”
    “Meow.”
    “Shut up. Go away.”
    Marcus Brutus licks his paw and sneezes. He looks back at me. “Meow.”
    I visit Sam later, and he asks about my day. I consider telling him about Gilbert’s mid-shift haircut, or the meat manager’s strange interest in my diet. But Sam got me the job, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful.
    “It was pretty good.”
    “How are the other workers?”
    “Nice, I guess.”
    “Talk to them much?”
    “A little. I don’t really know what to say to them.”
    “Say anything. Life’s not like fiction, you know.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I mean I think you read too many books. Stop worrying about finding things to say, and stop assuming every silence is awkward.”
    “I—”
    “Shut up for a minute. You need to stop being so afraid. Just don’t say anything for a while.”
     
    *
     
    They let me out of the psych ward because, despite diagnosing me with clinical depression, they no longer thought I was in immediate danger of killing myself. This was after three weeks on Zoloft, of course.
    They also assigned me a therapist, and I have my first session with her the morning after my first shift at Spend Easy. The receptionist invites me to take a seat, and when my therapist enters the waiting room to escort me to her office, I see they’ve made a big mistake. She’s beautiful. I can’t ‘open up’ to her. I’ll be as talkative as a dead clam.
    I follow her into the office and sit down.
    “So,” she says, her legs crossed, a clipboard perched on her knee. She has bright blue eyes, long eyelashes, and thick brown hair. “I’m Bernice, you’re Sheldon. How is Sheldon?”
    “Fine,” I say. I try not to wipe my sweaty palms on my pants.
    “Nice weather.”
    “Wouldn’t this be more efficient if you just asked me why I wanted to kill myself?”
    She jiggles her pen, tapping it lightly against the clipboard. “Is that what you’re interested in discussing?”
    “No. Of course not.”
    “Then let’s not.”
    “But—”
    “Being a decent therapist is really easy, Sheldon. If all I do is listen to you talk about the things you’re ready to talk about, then I’ve done my job pretty well. If I manage to say a few things that help you reach some insights about yourself, then I’ve been an excellent therapist. And that’s about all there is to this.”
    “What if I’m not ready to talk about anything?”
    “Then I would say that’s pretty typical for a first session. Why don’t we try again next time?”
    I stare at her.
    “Go on.” She makes a shooing gesture. “Go talk to the receptionist about scheduling your next appointment.”
     
    *
     
    I forgot Crow at Spend Easy, and I need to find out when I’m working, so after I leave Bernice’s office I bike to my new workplace.
    When you first enter Spend Easy, you’re facing the section with the Bakery, Deli, and Produce departments. Across the store, just out of sight, is Meat. Hang a right. Now you’re walking between the aisles and the cash lanes. With only five aisles and six cash registers, Spend Easy isn’t a very big grocery store.
    If you look at Lane Two, you’ll see Cassandra, the current record holder for breaking my heart the most, checking in a bag of frozen peas. She works here, too.
    She sees me. Her eyebrows shoot up, and she raises her hand. “Hey, Sheldon,” she says.
    Look away. Make a quick detour down Aisle Two.
    I met Cassandra in junior high. She was attractive, and willing to talk to me, which is a rare quality among females. In fact, girls were so