Taking Chances Read Online Free PDF Page A

comment his friends made, but for the most part, we both ate in silence. I was afraid his silence was my fault.
    That night, I went to sleep crying and listening to a Celine Dion CD. It was one of the only CDs I owned. I had saved up money from my grandma to buy it when it came out. I used my mom's old CD Walkman player to listen to it. I had just had another fight with Michael, and it was worse than the last.
    Michael started yelling at me for talking back again and punched me across the face, forcing me to fall to the floor. He continued throwing beer bottles and cups and books at me. I tried to run, but he pulled me back by my hair and threw me against the wall, and started burning my stomach and my arms with his cigarettes. Maddie just sat and watched it happen. I ended up blacking out, and I couldn’t remember what else happened.
    The first song I listened to was “Taking Chances.” As I’d thought to myself earlier that day, it was pretty much the theme song of my life. What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there’s solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay. What do you say? That night, there was definitely hell to pay. Back in Chicago, I lived every moment just hoping that I wouldn’t get hit that day. And when I was hurt, I felt hopeless and physically weak. Most of the time, I would just lie on the ground until I felt strong enough to move. The next day, I’d be sore, but I’d still act as if nothing was wrong, but my ignorance only made my mind confused.
    I hoped that when we moved to Shabbona, I would get stronger, and that being in a place I loved would bring me confidence and hope. Spencer had helped me get a little mentally stronger that day, before one of the worst nights I’d had brought me down mentally and physically. Michael had come up with a new way to hurt me for not giving him the respect he deserved as the “ruler of the house”. I was still not able to defend myself from the abuse. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to. I figured, after that night, if the fights kept getting worse, I wasn’t sure I would make it through my junior year. It scared me that I might not be around to help Lillian and Rebecca. So much for Shabbona being my own personal heaven.
    The next morning, Spencer was already at his locker when I arrived at mine.
    “Hi Sydney,” he said, greeting me.
    “Hey Spencer,” I replied.
    He gasped quietly. “Are you okay?”
    “Yes, why?” I asked curiously. I looked into the small mirror in my locker and saw the purple bruise that covered my cheek and neck.
    “Oh, um…I’m fine. I just fell off my dirt bike last night, that’s all.” I made up a quick lie as I tried to cover the bruise with my hair.
    “I didn’t know you rode dirt bikes,” he said. His face looked a little confused, so I looked away, hoping my worried expression wouldn’t give my secret away. If someone found out Michael was hurting me now, I wouldn’t live to be a witness. He’d find out and punish me for giving it away. I didn’t have anywhere to run if he found out.
    “Um…I really don’t. That’s why I fell. It’s my brother’s, and I was bored last night.”
    “Oh. Are you sure you’re okay?”
    “Yeah. I’m fine. Um…did you do that autobiography paper for English?” I asked, changing the subject. I felt the soft bruise lightly with my fingertips and winced at the pain. I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it.
    “Yeah. I mostly talked about my writing, music and singing.”
    “You sing?” I asked, glancing over at him.
    “Yeah. I write my own songs,” he said with a proud smile.
    “Me too,” I said happily. I looked back at my mirror and saw that the bruise was still showing, so I kept trying to fix it.
    “Have you ever thought of performing them?” he asked.
    “What?” I had forgotten I was still talking to him. I was too preoccupied with the bruise.
    “Your songs, have you ever thought of