Tainted Love: contemporary womens fiction love story and family saga (Behind Closed Doors Book 1) Read Online Free PDF

struggling with the loss of my parents. There's nothing wrong with me, Cal. I'm pregnant."

 
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Eight
     
    He didn't speak to me for days.
    The whole of the Thanksgiving weekend was a disaster. Cal refused to come with us to the parade. He sent a message downstairs with you. I had to tell Robert and Gina he was sick and we wouldn’t be there for dinner. It was a problem for us because we didn’t have the food to make Thanksgiving dinner since we’d been invited to Robert and Gina’s. We had roasted chicken instead.
    I battled with my conscience, with my waning respect for God, and made a decision. As he said, you put your family first. But even this didn't make Cal happy. He called me a stupid bitch.
    You know, it's not like we'd ever used or even discussed birth control. We took our chances. This was the result. Why was he punishing me for giving him really great... em, well, maybe that’s too much information… needless to say, after Caleb came, the birth control discussion pretty much took the shape of ”Do you want any more ‘accidents’, Cal? No? Then I should see the doctor about the contraceptive pill.”
    The issue over you was erased by the problem of the new baby. After Thanksgiving, Cal went to work before you'd even woken up, and when he came home it was like a switch had been flicked. From that day on, he adored you. In his own way, I'm sure he adores all of you. And I was right all those years ago, he is a wonderful father.
    But for months, our marriage was nothing more than harsh words and even harsher glares. Christmas was not fun that year, and how you and Georgia didn't notice I'll never know. There was none of the concern he'd shown with the last pregnancy, and I tried everything I could not to stress him out. I knew there was no drawing him into this, no getting him attached to the baby growing inside, especially after what I went through the first time.
    Once he held him, or her, that's when Cal's wall would crumble. When the rest of us are terrified of the next eighteen years, that’s when Cal's nightmare would be over and he’d gush at the baby in his arms and tell him, "I'm your dada.”
    So I waited. And I was patient. It hadn't yet been five years since he'd lost Emma and didn't I know that day on the beach? Didn't I warn myself? Didn't I tell myself he'd only resent me if he didn't fully heal before we set out on this path? I only had myself to blame.
    I know, I know... I can hear you.
    You're saying there are two people in any marriage. He took long enough to think about it and he made it perfectly clear what he wanted when he followed me on the beach. And I know you're saying he's a psychiatrist and he should know better. But he's just a man. A man whose life was tipped upside down and he was trying to start over… except he didn't realize he wasn't ready.
    The longer I waited, the grumpier he became. Until yet another miserable Valentine’s Day, only this one he made every effort for his baby girl. After all, it was her second birthday. But for me? There was nothing. Honestly, it’s Georgia’s birthday, so I don’t expect big, lavish, thoughtful gifts. I’d bought him tickets to the symphony, arranged for Gina to babysit, I even booked a hotel... all without so much as an acknowledgment from him. But a card would have been nice.
    I was almost eight months pregnant by then, and I hadn't been sleeping well. As an unborn baby, Caleb was nocturnal. Mind you, Caleb’s always been nocturnal, so it meant I could never get comfortable at night. Cal grumbled, then snapped, and then shouted. He had to go to work in less than four hours.
    He rolled over and thumped his pillow as he settled into the mattress and under the duvet. His back pushed against my protruding stomach and he froze. I don't think he meant to touch me but I know he didn't know what to do. Being there made him uncomfortable but moving would upset me and cause damage he knew he couldn't repair.
    I'm