be so angry? She probably thinks I slept with someone , he realized."I didn't screw anyone. Like I said, it wasn't like that,” he said. "I'm not having an affair. I haven't been emotionally unfaithful in any way. This thing was just about the sex. Well, not sex really, but about getting off."
Mine wasn't emotional either , Kyra thought. It was only ever about the way Bill made her feel sexy, the way he turned her on with his desire. She never had any real feelings for him. She wasn't going to let Ethan think he had a better excuse than she did. "So what was it about then?"
"It was just about getting off, like I said. Listen, I haven't been having an affair, I've just gone to a massage parlor a few times."
" Just gone to a massage parlor ? How many times is a few times?"
"I dunno. I haven't been counting. Listen, I don't like your tone.” Ethan was getting defensive. Even thought she might not agree, he thought, what she had done was way worse.
"Was it one of those happy ending places?"
"Yeah, it's just a hand job, like you did, at least that's all I paid for. I think you can get more if you want, but I didn't."
Kyra felt slapped by his like you did , but he had a point. Who was she to climb onto some moral high horse? She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Hadn't she just told herself that if he had gotten a hand job that it wasn't as bad? But that was before she knew he'd actually done it. Get a hold of yourself! Ethan just handled hearing my confession, and my betrayal much worse than ‘just a handjob.’ This is about our marriage. Don't make it about you.
"I'm sorry for overreacting. It's just an emotional night, you know?" Kyra said.
"I know, I know. This is all a lot to deal with."
"Can I ask why?” she asked.
"I guess for the same reasons you did what you did. I was lonely. We weren't connecting and I felt like if I didn't do something I was going to burst. Things haven't been too exciting in the bedroom and I didn't know how to talk to you about it."
"I wish you had talked to me about it. There are so many things I've wanted to say to you too, but I just didn't have the words. Things just used to come so easily to us."
"I know. Intimacy was never a problem for us."
"Is it me? Obviously you're still horny. Aren't you attracted to me anymore?” Kyra stared into her lap when she said it. It wasn't a question she thought she wanted answered, but if they were putting all their cards on the table she had to ask. How could they fix things if they held back?
"Oh God. No! It's nothing like that at all. I still think you're as beautiful as ever!” He took both of her hands. "Honey, I love you."
"Loving me and wanting me are not the same thing."
"I do want you, but it's just been weird. I don't know. It seems like the last couple years, with the kids and our jobs, with our busy lives, it just seems like time in the bedroom has lost its priority. I thought you just weren't interested anymore."
"Why?” She brushed tears back again. This time they were tears of relief. "I am still interested. Very interested."
"I don't know. You just don't act like it sometimes. There used to be this fire in you when we were together and I don't feel it anymore."
Kyra was taken aback. Sure, she was tired sometimes. Maybe they never got dressed up to go out anymore, but they were parents now. It didn't seem like making time for one another was as important. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I guess I've just fallen into a routine."
"You don't have to apologize. I understand, it's just that after a while, when I thought you weren't interested I guess I stopped making the effort too. It's hard to always be the person initiating things. I can't remember the last time I saw that lingerie I used to buy you."
"I guess I never thought about it like that. When you stopped buying me new stuff, I just thought you didn't want to see me in it."
"I knew you were self-conscious after Caren was born, but I still think
Mine wasn't emotional either , Kyra thought. It was only ever about the way Bill made her feel sexy, the way he turned her on with his desire. She never had any real feelings for him. She wasn't going to let Ethan think he had a better excuse than she did. "So what was it about then?"
"It was just about getting off, like I said. Listen, I haven't been having an affair, I've just gone to a massage parlor a few times."
" Just gone to a massage parlor ? How many times is a few times?"
"I dunno. I haven't been counting. Listen, I don't like your tone.” Ethan was getting defensive. Even thought she might not agree, he thought, what she had done was way worse.
"Was it one of those happy ending places?"
"Yeah, it's just a hand job, like you did, at least that's all I paid for. I think you can get more if you want, but I didn't."
Kyra felt slapped by his like you did , but he had a point. Who was she to climb onto some moral high horse? She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Hadn't she just told herself that if he had gotten a hand job that it wasn't as bad? But that was before she knew he'd actually done it. Get a hold of yourself! Ethan just handled hearing my confession, and my betrayal much worse than ‘just a handjob.’ This is about our marriage. Don't make it about you.
"I'm sorry for overreacting. It's just an emotional night, you know?" Kyra said.
"I know, I know. This is all a lot to deal with."
"Can I ask why?” she asked.
"I guess for the same reasons you did what you did. I was lonely. We weren't connecting and I felt like if I didn't do something I was going to burst. Things haven't been too exciting in the bedroom and I didn't know how to talk to you about it."
"I wish you had talked to me about it. There are so many things I've wanted to say to you too, but I just didn't have the words. Things just used to come so easily to us."
"I know. Intimacy was never a problem for us."
"Is it me? Obviously you're still horny. Aren't you attracted to me anymore?” Kyra stared into her lap when she said it. It wasn't a question she thought she wanted answered, but if they were putting all their cards on the table she had to ask. How could they fix things if they held back?
"Oh God. No! It's nothing like that at all. I still think you're as beautiful as ever!” He took both of her hands. "Honey, I love you."
"Loving me and wanting me are not the same thing."
"I do want you, but it's just been weird. I don't know. It seems like the last couple years, with the kids and our jobs, with our busy lives, it just seems like time in the bedroom has lost its priority. I thought you just weren't interested anymore."
"Why?” She brushed tears back again. This time they were tears of relief. "I am still interested. Very interested."
"I don't know. You just don't act like it sometimes. There used to be this fire in you when we were together and I don't feel it anymore."
Kyra was taken aback. Sure, she was tired sometimes. Maybe they never got dressed up to go out anymore, but they were parents now. It didn't seem like making time for one another was as important. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I guess I've just fallen into a routine."
"You don't have to apologize. I understand, it's just that after a while, when I thought you weren't interested I guess I stopped making the effort too. It's hard to always be the person initiating things. I can't remember the last time I saw that lingerie I used to buy you."
"I guess I never thought about it like that. When you stopped buying me new stuff, I just thought you didn't want to see me in it."
"I knew you were self-conscious after Caren was born, but I still think
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